At my job, about once a week we receive a shipment of merchandise that comes wrapped in old, wrinkled up Chinese/Japanese/Indian newspapers. I am obsessed with unwrinkling these newspapers written in a language I can't read and thoroughly looking through them. Why? Because sometimes you find something like this:
Please, any Chinese (or Japanese, not quite sure, the characters look pretty similar to me) wang enlargening spam posters, for once I need you. Well, you or any actual legitimate visitors of my site who know the language. Please translate this for me. I need to know why this dude has beaned this lady in the cranium with a hot bowl of chow mein and then chased her downstairs while wielding both a knife and a chair.