The Hands That Threaten Doom - New Comp at Illogical Contraption

A little over a month ago (or 16 posts ago) I put together or "compiled" some music for a compilation called Warning, Murder In Progress for the excellent and prolific Illogical Contraption blog. I've been invited back and my follow up compilation entitled The Hands That Threaten Doom is up now for your downloading pleasure. This compilation consists of songs written about notorious murder committers, and I've put brief details of the evil-doers crimes with each track so everyone knows who everyone is.

Click here to witness - both visually and audibly - the madness.

Last American Virgin

Last American Virgin was director Boaz Davidson's remake of his own Eskimo Limon (aka Lemon Popsicle), a popular Israeli film which spawned 7 (!) sequels.

Last American Virgin is a bit of an oddity, it's a wacky comedy for the entire duration - complete with a fat kid boinking a middle aged hispanic prostitute while a comical song plays on the soundtrack - then in the last few minutes they hit our main character with a devastating emotional groin punch. And then... it just ends, no glimmer of hope for this guy or anything. Sure, it's a more realistic ending - sometimes in life, you're just gonna get screwed and there will be nothing you can do but stand there and take it. I admire the balls it took to end it like that. But, really, who watches a goofy comedy with fat kids nailing middle aged hispanic prostitutes and thinks "man, I hope I'm really bummed out and sad during the last couple of minutes of this thing."?

You want the main guy to start off cool and likable, turn into a jerk going for the hot, but incompatible friend of his equally hot, but more down to earth friend. Then you have him realize he's a jerk, redeem himself, end up with his equally hot, but more down to earth friend. Sorry, I've got Secret Admirer on my mind for some reason. Still, that's the basic formula, it's worked a thousand times without bumming everybody out.

That said, bummer ending or not, American Virgin is a pretty solid movie that I recommend checking out at least once

Rue Morgue Radio Presents Hymns From The House of Horror

"In honour of Rue Morgue's 100th issue, it gives us great pleasure to gift you, Dear Music Lovin' Reader and Web Fiend, this free, downloadable compilation album we've sacrilegiously christened Rue Morgue Radio Presents...Hymns from the House of Horror! Thousands of horror bands have graced the pages and airwaves that emanate from this unholy place over the course of thirteen years, more than 300 radio shows and 100 magazines. We put our misshapen heads together and enticed a handful of the many artists we believe best encapsulate Rue Morgue into giving us exclusive mixes, previously unreleased tracks, obscure rarities and classic cuts for this morbid mixtape, hosted by Rue Morgue Radio's proprietor of perpetual darkness, Tomb Dragomir."

Click here for a download link. Once you've secured the album, I urge you to check out Damn Laser Vampires, Cauldron, and Balzac. The band, not this thing or this John Lovitz looking fucker here.

My name is Lucio Fulci and Windows 7 was my idea?

Ronnie James Dio - July 10, 1942 – May 16, 2010

Blabbermouth:

Roller Boogie - Roller Skate or Die

For my contribution to Blair Week, I've chosen to upload the soundtrack to the Roller Boogeying classic Roller Boogie from director Mark Lester (Class of 1984, Firestarter, Commando). I had never seen Roller Boogie before, but for the sake of Blair Week I sat down and checked it out so I'd have a little something to talk about here.

In Roller Boogie, Linda is Terry Barkley, a floutist turned competitive roller disco fanatic who, along with her retardedly hot friend Lana (Kimberly Beck aka Trish Jarvis from Friday the 13th IV) get sucked in the wacky, and kind of stupid world of dancing on roller skates.

Despite being a musical prodigy on her way to Juliard with supremely wealthy parents, all the semi-bi-polar Terry wants to do is skate at the boardwalk. During one of here boardwalk skates Terry catches the eye of Bobby, local Olympic roller skating hopeful (???). After a good deal of effort on Bobby's part the 2 develop a relationship while Bobby trains Terry to skate as his partner in an upcoming roller boogie competition.

Everything is fine for the new couple for about a 20-minute stretch of the movie. Of course, we need some kind of plot to make this an actual movie and that's where rink owner Jammer comes in. Seems Jammer (who would let their kids go to a place owned by a guy called Jammer?) owns the last establishment a group of mobsters need to purchase and demolish before they can build their mall. He refuses to sell, but Jammer, despite being a former roller derby champion, turns into a real pussy when a gun is pointed at his face, so he decides to sell. It's up to the kids to figure out a way to save Jammer's or else they'll have to skate at one of the 20 other roller skating places at Venice Beach in 1979.

Featuring a colorful cast of characters with names like Phones (head, not rotary or pay), J.D. The DJ, and Complete Control Conway Roller Boogie is every bit as corny as it's title would make it seem. However, if you can get through the absurd amount of roller skate themed padding, there's actually a fairly fun late 70's teen comedy here.

Of course, you'd expect a roller skate movie from the 70's to have a pretty bitchin' soundtrack, and this one delivers the bitchin-ness

Hell On Wheels - Cher

Good Girls - Johnnie Coolrock

All For One, One For All - Mavis Vegas Davis

Boogie Wonderland - Earth, Wind & Fire with The Emotions

We Got The Power - Ron Green

Top Jammer - Cheeks

Summer Love - Bob Esty

Takin' Life In My Own Hands - Ron Green

Elektronix (Roller Dancin') - Bob Esty & Cheeks

Cunga - Bob Esty (Instrumental)

Evil Man - Mavis Vegas Davis

Lord Is It Mine - Bob Esty

Rollin' Up A Storm (The Eye Of The Hurricane) - Bob Esty

The Roller Boogie - Bob Esty

Love Fire - Bob Esty & Michele Aller

Bonus Tracks

Git Down (Guitar Groupie) - Cher

Hell on Wheels (12 inch version) - Cher

Night Dancer - Jean Shy

Our colleagues are bringing fresh Linda related content all week long:

Monday May 10:

Lost Video Archive - Savage Streets
Satan's Hope Chest - Chained Heat and Savage Island

Tuesday:
Camp Movie Camp - Grotesque
The Horror Section - Hell Night
Full Moon Reviews - Bailout

Wednesday:
Illogical Contraption gets Repossessed
Lines That Makes Things drops original Linda inspired artwork
Breakfast In the Ruins - Exorcist II

Thursday:
B Movies and Beyond - Summer of Fear
Camp Movie Camp - Nightforce

Friday:
The Manchester Morgue - Roller Boogie
Happy Otter - The Chilling
Ninja Dixon - The Witchery

Saturday:
Lost Video Archive - Born Innocent
Unflinching Eye wraps it up with a look at Linda's fall from grace.

Blair Week Schedule

In collaboration with a selection of the finest film blogs the infranet has to offer The Manchester Morgue is proud to contribute to Blair Week, a six day extravaganza expounding on the virtues of Linda Blair and her legacy of quality motion pictures.

Our colleagues are bringing fresh Linda related content all week long:

Monday May 10:

Lost Video Archive - Savage Streets
Satan's Hope Chest - Chained Heat and Savage Island

Tuesday:
Camp Movie Camp - Grotesque
The Horror Section - Hell Night
Full Moon Reviews - Bailout

Wednesday:
Illogical Contraption gets Repossessed
Lines That Makes Things drops original Linda inspired artwork
Breakfast In the Ruins - Exorcist II

Thursday:
B Movies and Beyond - Summer of Fear
Camp Movie Camp - Nightforce

Friday:
The Manchester Morgue - Roller Boogie
Happy Otter - The Chilling
Ninja Dixon - The Witchery

Saturday:
Lost Video Archive - Born Innocent
Unflinching Eye wraps it up with a look at Linda's fall from grace.

Sure, my post isn't for another 4 days, but I wanted to post this now so everyone can get the most out of this week of Blair related posts.

Frank Frazetta - February 9th, 1928 - May 10th, 2010

Frank Frazetta, whose work frequently graced the cover of Creepy and Eerie (among many other comics), has died at the age of 82. I've been a big Frazetta fan since my uncle gave me a ton of Warren comics when I was about 7 years old, so this is absolutely terrible news.

The full story can be read here:

Machete - Trailer 2010

After 3 years or so, it looks like the rumored Machete film might actually be close to being released. Granted, this is mostly the same as the trailer from the beginning of Grindhouse, but there's plenty of new footage added featuring a fairly star studded cast. Seriously, they've managed to get Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Michelle Rodriquez and Robert Goddamn DeNiro. Pretty impressive for something that was initially done as a joke.

Mad Twists Rock 'n' Roll

The Mad Disco album proved to be super popular (downloads wise at least, not much in the comment department) so here's another Mad album, Mad Twists Rock 'n' Roll, released in 1962.

Your track list:

• (Throwing The) High School Basketball Game
• (She Got A) Nose Job
• Please, Betty Jane (Shave Your Legs!)
• Somebody Else's Dandruff (On My Lover-Baby's Shirt)
• Blind Date (Yaaaaaaahhh!)
• Agnes (The Teenage Russian Spy)
• Let's Do The Pretzel (And End Up Like One!)
• (Even If I Live To Be 22) I'll Always Remember Being Young
• (He Fell In Love With Me) When My Pimples Turned To Dimples
• She's A Serious (Yeah-Yeah!) Teenager In Love
• (All I Have Left Is) My Johnny's Hub Cap
• I Found Her Telephone Number Written On The Boys Bathroom Wall

Madlinks

Brian Posehn - Fart & Wiener Jokes Streaming

Brian Posehn, one of my favorite comedians, has released his second CD entitled Fart & Wiener Jokes. Being the metal dude that he is he is streaming his entire album for free right here.

The album was put out by Relapse Records (their first comedy release?), and is available in an absurd variety of exclusive package deals. I chose this one. Sure it says "fart" and "wiener" on the shirt, something someone with my level of sophistication normally wouldn't wear, but any shirt with an impaled Carrot Top and Peanut on it is okay in my book.