Saturday, March 24, 2018

The Monster Party

I found this incredible poster in Cracked Monster Party issue #5 from 1989 (credit to the original scanner of this issue). Since it was a poster, you'll notice a line across the middle of the page and some spots where the bat's wings aren't lined up quite right, but it's still pretty decent quality.  

Sure, some of the puns here are so cheap they'd make even Elvira roll her eyes, but I will say that Herman's "Hearse 54" joke isn't bad. Either way, I really love Severin's artwork here and on the companion piece from inside the issue:

Friday, March 23, 2018

Night Train To Terror - Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray Review

Directors: John Carr, Phillip Marshak, Tom McGowan, Jay Schlossberg-Cohen, Gregg C. Tallas
Video: 1:85.1
Studio: Vinegar Syndrome
Region: ALL 
 Discs: 2 (1 Blu-ray, 1 DVD)

As I'm trying to get this site back up to speed, I was looking at some of my old unpublished drafts and I realized I had never actually posted my review of this one despite the fact that it was mostly finished. Which is a shame because this movie rules. And since this movie is included in their sale, it'll currently only cost you $12.50 now through the 26th. So here you go, 4-years later.

Night Train to Terror is a 1985 anthology film that was Frankensteined together using three separate films; Cataclysm from 1980, Death Wish Club (aka Gretta) from 1983 and an unfinished 1981 film called Scream Your Head Off.

The wrap-around story tying the three segments together follows a spooky night porter's walk through an equally spooky train. He passes through a car filled with the most shit-tastic band you can imagine, playing a shit-tastic song called Dance With Me. Before I go on, I should mention that you'll hear this song for roughly 12 minutes throughout the duration of the film, so if you don't like the first 10-seconds of this, you're in trouble. In between each of the story segments we are treated to more footage of this same band playing this same exact song. They cut to these guys 5 times in a 90 minute period and it's still that same song every time. These guys aren't one-hit wonders, they're one song wonders. Never mind hits, these guys never got around to writing a second song.

After exiting the music video portion of the train we find two men, God and Satan sitting at a table having a philosophical discussion. The night porter enters the car and Satan asks him for the time. (Wouldn't you think Satan would just know what time it was? And if not, couldn't he just manifest a watch or something?) After the time check, we then watch three stories unfold as God and Satan decide the fate of these unfortunate souls.

Story the first; John Phillip Law is Harry, a guy who is sent to an insane asylum (are there any other kind of asylums?) for accidentally killing his wife after Carnival of Soulsing his car over a bridge. The story is actually a bit hard to follow on this one, but basically the Thunderbirds-faced Harry uses his marionette-like good looks to lure women back to the asylum, where Otto (Richard Moll, Night Court) strips the women, fondles their naked bits, then hacks their bodies up. Once the bodies are hacked the parts are haphazardly strewn about the inside of a cooler, and eventually some other dudes who aren't important enough to have names show up, sort the parts and illegally sell them to medical schools.

The second story tells the tale of Gretta, a beautiful young carnival worker with musical aspirations who is wooed, and forced into porn by an older man. A guy named Glenn attends a smut party (which is like a circle jerk, only minus the circle and the jerk) and catches a glimpse of Gretta in the night's porno screening. He instantly falls madly in love with her and decides he must track the girl down. Luckily it's not considered stalking if the girl you're stalking finds you attractive, so the two begin a relationship.

This doesn't sit well at all with the gigolo who still considers Gretta his property, so he forces Glenn to join a "death club". A death club is basically a club where the members sit around in a circle and perform various Russian Roulette style games (though they never actually play Russian Roulette). For example, during one of their club meetings the club members lie on the floor in sleeping bags while a 1500 pound ball on a rope spins around a room with a saw slowly cutting the rope on each rotation. Once the ball falls, whoever is under the ball gets to be killed by the ball. That's it. That's the game. And every game they play is like that. Every game ends with a person dying brutally. It's not a very well thought out club, but I assume the membership fees are on the low side.

In the third story, we are introduced to an old Jewish man named Weiss who is convinced that Olivier, the Nazi who killed his family is still alive and well 30 years later. Sure, it's possible for a Nazi to be alive 30 years later, but here's the thing, 30 years after the war, Olivier is still a young man in his 20s, which doesn't make any sense unless of course, he is an immortal servant of Satan. Weiss enlists the help of a professional Nazi Hunter lazy cop (Cameron Mitchell) and published atheist James Hansen (Richard Moll, again) to track Olivier down. When the cop is unable to help Weiss, the old man decides to take matters into his own hands. This is when this movie goes from weird-as-shit to full-on insanity.

On paper, these stories don't sound all that weird but strap in before taking the Night Train To Terror because you have no idea of the madness you're about to be subjected to once you hit the play button.  This was one of my favorite discoveries in years. At no point during this movie was I at all sure what was going to happen from one minute to the next. And somehow, despite the fact that this is comprised of three completely unrelated films directed by three different directors, it works, these stories all seem like they were made to be a part of this anthology. If I didn't know this wasn't a planned anthology, I don't think I would've even realized.

If you're someone who needs their movies to make sense, or you know, be good, then Night Train To Terror will probably drive you insane. However, if you're an adventurous trash fan like myself, looking for somewhere to hurl your own insults and bad jokes you must seek out a copy at once.

Things to watch for:
Satan asks a guy for the time
Extreme Saxophone
Claymation Dismemberment
8 Heads in a Meat Locker
Satanic Surgery

Special Features:
Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack
 Interview with Producer/Director Jay Schlossberg-Cohen
Interview with Assistant Editor Wayne Schmidt
Commentary by The Hysteria Continues
Theatrical Trailer
Bonus film Gretta (DVD only)

Vinegar Syndrome has done their usual stellar work on this release, as you'll see from the screenshots below, the transfer on this release looks incredible. Although it's listed as an interview, this is actually an audio commentary from Jay Schlossberg-Cohen, and it's very informative about how this oddity came to be. There's also a commentary by The Hysteria Continues team which is always a welcome feature. The DVD included in this combo pack also includes the full version of the film Gretta that the middle portion of Night Train to Terror is lifted from.

As I was going through to make screenshots I ended up with around 70 shots because there is just so much cool shit going on in this movie that I couldn't stop clicking the capture button. The effects range from morbidly grotesque to mind-shatteringly terrible. On more than one occasion a character's death is depicted by Celebrity Death Match level claymation figures. If you can look at these screenshots and not purchase this immediately after, you're a stronger person than me.

4-Day Spring Sale from Vinegar Syndrome Starts Now

Vinegar Syndrome has a 4-day spring sale going now through Monday. There's a limited selection, this isn't a site-wide sale like they usually do in May, but there are still plenty of great titles to pick up for cheap like The Corpse Grinders, Witchtrap, Count Dracula's Great Love, Night Train to Terror, and plenty more. From the email for those of you not subscribed:

Even though it doesn't feel like spring throughout most of the country (it certainly doesn't where we are), the calendar tells us that the air will soon be getting warmer and the trees greener. So why not celebrate the last few weeks of winter misery (or bliss, if you live in California), with more VS to add to your Blu-ray collection?

So, to celebrate the changing of the seasons, we've selected a pretty random grouping of 50 Blus and DVDs to mark down to 50% off (a few even more), now through Monday! Are you on the fence about getting Andy Milligan's jaw dropping almost-giallo SEEDS, restored to its never released director's cut? Well, now you can get all the fun (?) for half the price?

How bout Ted Mikel's drive-in classic THE CORPSE GRINDERS (with our limited edition slipcase)? Order today and become inspired to build your own corpse grinding machine tomorrow. There are plenty of hungry cats out there... And while on the subject of corpses, seize the chance to get a copy of Rick Roessler's delightful regional slasher, SLAUGHTERHOUSE at a great discount.

Maybe skin flicks are more your thing? If so, consider Joe Sarno's delightful hardcore homage to Woody Allen, A TOUCH OF GENIE. It's got loads of yiddish humor AND Tina Russell! Plus, ours is the only uncut version on the market. 

For those in more of an 80’s mood, there's Ron Sullivan's MATINEE IDOL, which combines the talents of Kay Parker, Jesie St. James, Coleen Brennan and Dave Friedman all into one incredible 90 min film going experience. And who can forget the period piece delights of Steve Scott's TRASHY LADY, which situates Ginger Lynn, Amber Lynn, and Harry Reems in a gorgeously photographed prohibition era set sex caper?

For those living without the benefits of a Blu-ray player (although all of our Blus come with matching DVDs), we've loaded in some great DVD only titles, including drive-in doubles of: LITTLE MISS INNOCENCE/TEENAGE SEDUCTRESS and a perpetual favorite, FROZEN SCREAM/EXECUTONER PT. 2. There's also mindfuck curiosities like JUNGLE BLUE and GAME SHOW MODELS, for true connoisseurs of mutant cinema.

What's more is that ALL FOUR of our Etiquette Pictures titles are on sale. These art house rarities represent some of the finest films in our catalog and deserve as many loving homes as possible.

Now, a couple notes: the sale goes through Monday, so orders will begin shipping first thing Tuesday. As always, we're gonna work overtime to make sure that each order is packed and shipped ASAP, but please give us a few extra days to get everything out. We promise you won't be forgotten. 

And lastly, feel free to make multiple orders over the course of the sale and COMBINE THEM using the 'Add to my existing Spring Sale order' free shipping option at checkout.

Direct link to the sale items:

Dreddy's Dead - The Final Rip-Off - Cracked Mad Monster Party #33

This is Cracked's Monster Party magazine's take on the 6th and final (at the time, at least) Nightmare on Elm Street Film Freddy's Dead. This issue came out in the Fall of 1996 and this story features art by Frank Borth and was written by Steve Strangio, which I assume is an alias.

The highlight of this story for me is seeing a comic version of the great Yaphet Kotto. Also look out for completely random appearances from Edward Scissorhands, Robocop, Jason, a couple of Ninja Turtles and what I believe is the vampire boy from Cracked's Monsters Attack story A Boy's Life.

Ridiculous Screenshot of the Day - Porno Object

Taken from a fairly unknown 1991 Hong Kong horror film called Vampire Kids (Jiang shi fu xing zi), which stars Sandra Ng and Amy Yip's boobs. Yip fans, don't get excited and seek this one out, she keeps them covered up the whole time, but they are certainly one of the main focal points of a lot of the jokes.

This "Porno Object" card pops up onscreen to censor the penis, or collective penises (I can't remember) that were urinating on Sandra Ng. I was definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel when I chose to watch this one, but there are a few cheap laughs to be had; Amy Yip leaving boob imprints when she falls in the sand, Sandra yelling "turd ghost" for no reason, and a guy spinning around while Jiangshi children are simultaneously biting his crotch and his ass made me laugh way harder than I'd like to admit.

Cancel your plans because you can check this one out here right now if you have a high tolerance for bad HK comedy and poor picture quality.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Errorvision - Highlighting The Goofs in Return of the Living Dead

Recently I somehow ended up on the Goofs page on the IMDB entry for Return of the Living Dead. It's a favorite that I've owned since I was around 7 or 8 years old, so I've seen this movie realistically probably around 30 times, but I was amazed by how many of these goofs I had never caught before. I had spotted a couple over the years, but there are like 25 things on that list. So, I thought it would be an interesting experiment to watch the movie for the 31st time while completely ignoring the important things like story, characters, and dialogue and just focus on the background trying to spot as many mistakes as I could.

Sure, you can just go on the IMDb and look at the list of the mistakes, but I thought it would be fun to go through and actually provide some visual evidence using the high-tech tools at my disposal; VLC Media Player and Microsoft Paint. I actually enjoyed grabbing these screenshots writing this post, so look for more of these sometime soon. Feel free to comment if you know of any other movies with an epic amount of mistakes that I could feature in the future.

Onto the goofs.

Like this scene in the embalming room with Ernie and Spider are discussing an escape plan—wait...who in the fuck is the guy ducking under the table?

Speaking of people who aren't in the movie appearing in the movie, where did this guy come from? 

This happens very quickly, which is why this screenshot looks so blurry, but in motion you can tell it's someone from the crew and not Don Calfa, Beverly Randolph or a bearded zombie. He slides that window open and closes it two times immediately after Clu Gulager gets out of the door. Who is this guy and why did he think peeking out of a window during filming was a good idea? That guy, if you're out there, can you explain what happened?

How about this scene where Frank and Freddy hold down a reanimated corpse with their 5 hands. I thought maybe one of these hands might've belonged to the yellow dude, but the way the hands are positioned (and the fact that none of them are yellow) it seems unlikely:

Then there's this shot of the Tarman just before eating Suicide's brains. (I don't think you'd call it "brains" when you're referring to a single person's brain, but who am I to correct a zombie's grammar?) It's a little-known fact that zombies are actually born with an extra set of teeth:

After Spider and Burt break through the cemetery gates and run into the undead roadblock Miguel Núñez, Jr., who is sitting in the passenger seat, turns from a black guy into two white guys with a camera and sound equipment:

There are several more mistakes to be found, but these were the most visually interesting. Most of them are more minor things like Clu Gulager's character name appearing onscreen as both Bert and Burt, strings attached to puppets, decades-old zombies with perfectly intact eyeballs, or things that you'd need to see in motion like when the cardboard falls on Scuz's corpse, then disappears in the next shot.

Ridiculous Screenshot of the Day - There's No "U" in Mortuary. No, Wait, There's Only One "U" in Mortuary

From the 1996 Hong Kong horror/comedy anthology Till Death Do Us Laugh (Guai tan xie hui).

I know I've seen this movie before, but while skimming through to make sure I had the title right for this screenshot I couldn't remember a single thing about it. Does this happen to anyone else, or is my brain just in worse shape than I thought? For the last decade, I've kept track of every movie I've watched on IMDB and now Letterboxd because I watch so many movies I can't keep up with what I've seen.

Last year while on vacation I watched Bert I. Gordon's The Cyclops, and William Girdler's The Manitou and thought these were first-time viewings only to realize afterwards while looking at my film tracking lists that I'd already seen them both a couple of years earlier. I can understand not remembering The Cyclops because the monster is pretty similar to the one Bert used in War of the Colossal Beast and I could've gotten the two mixed up. But how did I not remember The Manitou? It features a scene where a demonic Native American midget is birthed out of a woman's back, followed by a bunch of hilarious naked whacked out cosmic space shit. That's pretty memorable. Maybe I need to tone down the craziness of the stuff I'm watching if I can forget something like that.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

The Horror of Seinfeld: Seinfeld Actor Horror Film Appearances - Part 1

As you can guess from this site, I'm a big Horror fan. I like Horror from all eras and subgenres, '30s Pre-Code Boris Karloff thrillers, '40s Werewolves, '50s vampires, '70s Satanic cults, '80s slashers, whatever you've got, really. In addition to horror, I also watch a great deal of Seinfeld. I've seen every episode at least four times, and I've probably seen most of the episodes even more than that. I actually subscribe to Hulu specifically for Seinfeld so that I don't have to mess with the DVDs. If I can't find something to watch, or if I want to watch a show while I eat, Seinfeld always works. I've probably cycled through the series 7 times in the past few years. I start with the first episode and end with the Puerto Rican Day episode, which is the last episode before the clip show and the divisive finale (some people thought it sucked, others thought it really sucked).

What's fun about watching the show as a horror fan is there are a ton of people who appear on this show who have also had great parts in classic horror films like The Burning or not so classic horror films like Ghoulies III or Creepshow 2. I guess that goes for a lot of older shows really, but I still really get a kick out of spotting them when I see them. So I thought it would be fun to go through and do a little list of some of my favorite Seinfeld actor horror sightings. There are so many I am probably going to have to split this into two parts, even then I'll still be missing like 50 people. They used a lot of character actors on this show. 

First up, the more prominent characters, characters who have been in more than a few episodes.

Jerry Seinfeld - Played by Jerry Seinfeld. Of the main 4 cast members, Jerry was the only one to not appear in a horror film in his career. I'm including him because I saw the Stand-Up confidential tape he made with Joel Hodgson in 1987, and I've gotta say, I actually found the skit portions to be a bit on the creepy side. Kind of "You Can't Do That on Television meets that weird ass Grandma scene from Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey", that's close, but that doesn't quite work. I can't describe it, see for yourself by skimming through this video:

Now, if you're still alive after witnessing that insanity, read on for the cast members with actual horror film related credits.

George Lewis Constanza - Played by Jason Alexander. George was a short, stalky, slow-witted bald man who founded The Human Fund. Jason made his cinematic acting debut (with hair) as Dave in slasher favorite The Burning (review) in 1981. Bonus points: If, for some reason, you want to see Costanza's ass, look no further than The Burning. Jason would also later go on to appear as Geary in Jacob's Ladder in 1990.

Elaine Benes - Played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Elaine was Jerry's former girlfriend turned regular friend and one-time recipient of a $182 dollar cash birthday gift. Julia appeared with Sonny Bono in the 1986 horror fantasy Troll. Fun fact: The father and son played by Michael Moriarty and Noah Hathaway are both named Harry Potter. I'm sure this has been mentioned in every movie review of Troll since Harry Potter came out, but I think Troll director John Carl Beuchler should try and sue to get a little bit of that Harry Potter money. I've never read a single page of one the books, but I hear that JK lady is pretty loaded. She probably has money enough to literally fund a few hundred thousand JC Buechler films.

Cosmo Kramer - Played by Michael Richards. Jerry's wacky high-haired hipster doofus neighbor appeared as a wacky high-haired and possibly mentally challenged butler named Fejos in the 1985 Jeff Goldblum horror/comedy Transylvania 6-5000. Note: I have heard from a very reputable source that this guy is bonkos!

Frank Costanza - Played by Jerry Stiller. Frank is George's perpetually angry father and disgraced former Army cook. Jerry has very little horror film acting experience, but he did appear in two horror tv episodes. He was a maniacal radio DJ in a 1985 Tales from the Darkside episode titled The Devil's Advocate, and a werewolf in a Monsters episode from 1990 titled One Wolf's Family. He also appeared briefly, with son Ben, in the oddball horror-road-action-comedy Highway to Hell starring Chad Lowe.

Uncle Leo - Played by Len Lesser. Uncle Leo was Jerry's weird uncle who was once slightly immolated in an oven cleaner explosion. Len was quite a prolific character actor, appearing in 175 films and TV series before his death in 2011. He played the kinda creepy/possibly rapey Tom Kredge in 1971's proto-slasher Blood and Lace, which I highly recommend. He also appeared in the 1977 film Ruby, 1989's Grandmother's House, and the unsurprisingly terrible Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell.

Mr. Justin Pitt - Played by Ian Abercrombie. Mr. Pitt was Elaine's ink pen hating boss and one-time Woody Woodpecker float handler. I'm sure that everyone knows him as the Wiseman in Army of Darkness, but he has several other horror appearances on his resume. I think he's actually been in more horror films than Seinfeld episodes. In addition to Evil Dead 3, you can also see Ian in Blood Beach, Warlock, Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge, and the  Schwarzenegger Tales From The Crypt episode "The Switch". Bonus Seinfeld Nerd Points: Since he's a Nazi in Puppet Master III, while taking this screenshot I was able to catch him in the middle of a Heil Five.

That's all for now, but be on the lookout for The Horror of Seinfeld Part II: The End of the Trilogy, where I'll focus on some of the lesser characters like Mr. Morgan and Conrad, the contractor.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Hitting Shelves - Tuesday, March 20th

You may have noticed some Amazon links showing up here lately. They recently started allowing North Carolina residents to participate in the affiliate program for the first time since I've lived here, so I signed up in hopes to make a tiny bit of money while here. I'm not going to be obnoxious about it and overload the site with ads and I won't I mention it constantly. But if you see something on this list you'd like to buy anyway and want to help me out a bit feel free to click on it.

Moving on, there are a ton of great releases this week; Black Scorpion, The 'Burbs, Michele Soavi's The Church, Robert Altman's excellent Images. I can't keep up, I'm going to need a third job if these boutique labels keep up this pace.

They’re big. They’re bad. They scuttle along in caverns miles beneath the Earth – until an earthquake opens paths to the surface. Now, these monsters of genus Arachnida are invading our world with deadly force! With top special effects co-designed by King Kong’s Willis O’Brien, The Black Scorpion is horror with a sting more lethal than the king-sized ants that overran Los Angeles’ sewers in the classic Them! Can humankind survive these invincible juggernauts? That fate rests on the shoulders of Hank Scott (1950s monster-movie stalwart Richard Denning) as the creatures rip a train from its track, snatch a helicopter from the sky and, in the film’s most gripping sequence, battle each other in their subterranean lair. Watch out!

Buy it on Amazon
Buy it on Diabolik

Tom Hanks stars in The 'Burbs, a comedy about a suburbanite whose plans for a peaceful vacation at home are disturbed by a creepy new family on the block. Much to the disappointment of his wife (Carrie Fisher), Ray Peterson (Hanks) and his three neighbors set out to investigate the next-door residence after they begin to observe strange happenings. Set in an average neighborhood that is anything but ordinary, The 'Burbs blends slapstick comedy and spine-thrilling mystery and is superbly directed by cult filmmaker Joe Dante (Piranha, Gremlins, Matinee, The Howling).

Special Features and Technical Specs:
  • BRAND NEW 2017 2K REMASTER struck from an interpositive
  • NEW Interviews With Director Joe Dante, Editor Marshall Harvey, And Director Of Photography (Additional Scenes) John Hora
  • Audio Commentary With Writer Dana Olsen, Moderated By Author Callum Waddell
  • There Goes The Neighborhood: The Making Of The 'Burbs – Includes Interviews With Director Joe Dante, Actors Corey Feldman, Courtney Gaines, And Wendy Schaal, Director Of Photography Robert M. Stevens, And Production Designer James H. Spencer
  • Alternate Ending
  • Original Workprint From Joe Dante's Archive (Includes Deleted And Extended Scenes)
  • Behind-The-Scenes Still Gallery
  • Stills And Posters Gallery
  • Theatrical Trailer
  • Optional English SDH subtitles

Buy it on Amazon
Buy it directly from Shout

In the middle of a modern city, an ancient evil is about to awaken! An elaborate cathedral that was once the site of a medieval massacre by crusading knights becomes a deadly trap for a group of visitors and staff when a sealed crypt is accidentally reopened. The laws of reality soon collapse as a nightmare takes hold and claims the lives of those within one by one, threatening to unleash a supernatural pestilence upon the world! Legendary horror maestro Dario Argento (Suspiria, Opera, Deep Red) presents this stylish shocker from director Michele Soavi (The Sect, Dellamorte Dellamore, Stagefright), featuring an avalanche of nightmarish visual effects and a powerful score by Goblin and Keith Emerson. Don't miss this baroque descent into the occult starring Tomas Arana (Gladiator, The Bodyguard, The Sect), Barbara Cupisti (Stagefright, New York Ripper), and Asia Argento (xXx, Land of the Dead), now in eye-popping, glorious HD!

Buy it on Amazon

If you're interested in the deluxe edition (which should be around $30-$35 and includes a lot of exclusive features) it will be available on Ronin Flix soon. The link says Sold Out, but that's just what Ronin puts on there until they've received stock. If you're not familiar with Ronin Flix, they sell a lot of Code Red and Scorpion titles. They've got the fastest shipping around - I've gotten packages from them less than 48 hours after placing an order. Don't hesitate to order from these guys.

The early seventies were a period of remarkable activity for Robert Altman, producing masterpiece after masterpiece. At the time he came to make Images, MASH and McCabe & Mrs. Miller were behind him, with The Long Goodbye, California Split and Nashville still to come.
Originally conceived in the mid-sixties, Images concerns a pregnant children s author (Susannah York, who won the Best Actress award at the Cannes Film Festival) whose husband (Rene Auberjonois) may or may not be having an affair. While on vacation in Ireland, her mental state becomes increasingly unstable resulting in paranoia, hallucinations and visions of a doppelgänger.
Scored by an Oscar-nominated John Williams, with sounds by Stomu Yamash'ta (The Man Who Fell to Earth), Images also boasts the remarkable cinematography of Vilmos Zsigmond (Close Encounters of the Third Kind).

  • Brand-new 4K restoration from the original negative, produced by Arrow Films exclusively
  • High Definition Blu-ray (1080p) presentation
  • Original English mono audio (uncompressed LPCM) soundtracks
  • Optional English subtitles for the deaf and hard-of-hearing
  • Audio commentary by Samm Deighan and Kat Ellinger
  • Scene-select commentary by writer-director Robert Altman
  • Interview with Robert Altman
  • Brand new interview with actor Cathryn Harrison
  • An appreciation by musician and author Stephen Thrower
  • Theatrical trailer
  • Reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by the Twins of Evil
  • FIRST PRESSING ONLY: Illustrated collector s booklet featuring new writing on the film by Carmen Gray and an extract from Altman on Altman

  • Buy it on Amazon
    Buy it on Diabolik

    In a brand new Jumanji adventure, four high school kids discover an old video game console and are drawn into the game's jungle setting, literally becoming the adult avatars they chose. What they discover is that you don't just play Jumanji - you must survive it. To beat the game and return to the real world, they'll have to go on the most dangerous adventure of their lives, discover what Alan Parrish left 20 years ago, and change the way they think about themselves - or they'll be stuck in the game forever.

    Buy it on Amazon
    4K on Amazon

    When three tourists stop at a roadside diner in Canyonland, they become the unwitting victims of a lethal scientific experiment. A deranged powerbroker and his high-tech army have sealed off the town and contaminated the water supply with a deadly toxin which turns calm, normal people into raving lunatics. Joining forces with the local sheriff and his daughter, this small band of holdouts wage an explosive life-or-death battle for survival.

    Directed by Nico Mastorakis (The Zero Boys) , this thriller includes a B-Movie all-star cast featuring Wings Hauser (Vice Squad), Bo Hopkins (Mutant), George Kennedy (Airport), Brion James (Blade Runner) and Kimberly Beck (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter).

    Special Features and Technical Specs:
    • BRAND NEW REMASTER struck from an interpositive
    • Vintage featurette: The Making of Nightmare at Noon
    • Original theatrical trailer
    • Still Gallery
    • Optional English subtitles for the main feature
    Buy it on Amazon
    Buy it on Diabolik

    John Rudley (G. Michael Smith) is angry. When he was young, the local kids pushed him to the brink. Ten years in a sanitarium is a long time. Now he's free... free to release those savage frustrations... free to avenge himself against those responsible for his injuries... and in case anyone thought her was long gone... he can't wait to have them all wrapped up.

    Buy Code Red's 4K scan Blu-ray on Amazon
    88-Films also just put this out, theirs is only a 2K scan, but it does have a Hysteria Lives commentary track. Buy it if you want to spite Code Red's Bill Olsen and possibly have him refer to you as a tadpole nutsack on the utterly insane thread. Sad to say. Check out that thread here if you want to spend an evening having your mind altered.

    Ralph (Dean Cameron, Summer School) is just your typical, average vampire with love in his heart, music in his veins — and a curse on his head. Every 22 years, poor Ralph is doomed to lose his soulmate, Mona, at the hands of a rhinestone-peg-legged pirate brandishing a large hambone (just go with us on this). But this time around, with the help of his newly-formed band Rockula, Ralph is determined to crush the curse once and for all — and show Mona that when you're a vampire, true love is eternal … and rock 'n' roll never dies!

    Directed by Luca Bercovici (Ghoulies) and featuring an eclectic cast of co-stars, including cult favorite Susan Tyrrell (Forbidden Zone) and recording stars Thomas Dolby, Toni Basil, and Bo Diddley, Rockula is an absolutely batty, bloody bizarre comedy!

    Special Features and Technical Specs:

    • NEW Audio Commentary With Director Luca Bercovici, Actress Tawny Fere, And Composer Hilary Bercovici
    • NEW Interview With Director Luca Bercovici
    • NEW Interview With Actor Dean Cameron
    • Theatrical Trailer
    Buy it on Amazon
    Buy it direct from Shout

    Saturday, March 17, 2018

    Leprechaun Returns - Coming March 2019 to SyFy

    If you didn't think 7 Leprechaun movies was enough, you're in luck. Astron-6 member and Void director Steven Kostanski has directed a new installment in the series that is a direct sequel to the original 1993 film. There's no Warwick Davis in this one, but they have brought classic 80s fat guy character actor Mark Holton out of retirement to reprise his role as Ozzie. So that's something.

    Don't be too excited to see it quite yet, it doesn't air until next March - presumably on the 17th.

    “The film picks up 25 years after the events of the 1993 original, which found a maniacal Leprechaun doing whatever it takes (including committing gruesome murder) to track down his stolen pot of gold. Leprechaun Returns finds the leprechaun revived in the modern day when a group of sorority girls unwittingly awaken him while tearing down a cabin to build a new sorority house.” 

    Friday, March 16, 2018

    Slaughter Hotel - Too Much Hotel, Not Enough Slaughter

    I was buying a couple of titles from 88 Films recently and I saw that their website has free shipping over £30 in addition to their Skulls rewards program, so I threw one more title in my order; Slaughter Hotel, or Cold  Blooded Beast as it's called on their release.

    When the package arrived (like every UK package I've gotten - opened) I was surprised to see that it still came with a slipcover despite it being released last July. I was curious as to why they hadn't sold out of the slipcover yet. And then I watched it. Oh, it kinda sucks. That's why.

    I'm not sure why it was given the title Slaughter Hotel when it was released here since this takes place in a wellness clinic and not a hotel. But I guess that has a better ring to it than Lesbian Mental Hospital That For Some Reason Has A Small Museum Of Antique Murder Weapons. I know before dropping my mentally unwell wife off at a mental institution I'm always sure to verify that they have an iron maiden on-site.

    This movie certainly goes into full slaughter mode in the last 10 minutes with a man Richard Speck-ing a room full of nurses with a mace, but sweet fancy Moses are the first 85-minutes dull. Most of the movie is just made up of softcore sex scenes, brotherfucker Rosalba Neri masturbating (with extreme labia closeups) and seducing a guido gardener, an unbelievably awkward neverending dance scene, and Klaus Kinski looking like a horse. There are murder scenes sprinkled in between the erotic stuff, but none of them are particularly interesting or well staged.

    The problem for me is that while the women in this movie are all very beautiful, I've never found sex scenes interesting whatsoever. I understand if you're watching porn specifically to take care of business, but I don't quite understand the appeal of erotic cinema outside of that purpose. I have no problem with the nudity, I just find panning up and down naked bodies while they writhe around to be very uninteresting. I guess I'm in the minority here because I know Vinegar Syndrome's porn and Synapse's Nikkatsu Roman Pornos with titles like Rape Teacher: Beaver Diver always sell well.

    This is a good looking movie with some nice cinematography, good atmosphere (that is basically wasted), and a beautiful location filled with beautiful women, but unfortunately, I found this one very dull for the most part, and by the time it does pick up, it's over. It's the rare Italian movie I've listed for sale immediately after viewing it. I will say that the music here by Silvano Spadaccino is actually great; the theme played during the croquet game is one of my favorites. I whistled that for days after watching this. In fact, I'm doing it now. It's a shame such lovely music is wasted on a dud like this. My opinion, skip the movie, buy the soundtrack. 

    If you want to check this one out, the 88 Films release is region free (slipcover has sold out officially now, maybe I got the last one). If you don't want to import that version, the Raro version is available on Amazon. The 88 has better picture quality, but the Raro does have some great features of its own.

    Dawn of the Dead Wax Packs From Fright-Rags

    "After many months in the works, we are proud to announce the next installment in our House of Fright Trading Card series - George A. Romero’s DAWN OF THE DEAD! We are celebrating the classic film’s 40th anniversary with a brand new trading card set, designed by and available only at FRIGHT-RAGS. Pre-orders begin Wednesday, March 21; shipping late April.

    Check out the details below, and stay tuned for more trading card series coming this year including House of 1,000 Corpses (MAY), Chucky (SUMMER), Sleepaway Camp 2/3 (SUMMER), and more!

    DAWN OF THE DEAD TRADING CARDS FULL SET INCLUDES: 73 base cards 1 checklist 9 stickers 7 character cards 6 art parallel cards ADDITIONAL CHASE CARDS: rainbow foil cards (base set) printing plate (sealed box topper only) DAWN OF THE DEAD TRADING CARDS -

    SEALED BOX LIMITED TO 325 BOXES ONLY! Retail Price: $120 Each sealed box of 24 wax packs includes: 2 full base sets, 2 full sticker sets, 2 full character sets, 2 full art parallel sets, 2 checklists, 1 sketch card, 12 random unique rainbow foil cards, 1 printing plate (box topper)

    DAWN OF THE DEAD TRADING CARDS - FACTORY BOX LIMITED TO 100 BOXES ONLY! Retail Price: $32 Each box of 86 cards includes: 73 full base card set, 7 character cards, 2 random unique art parallel cards, 2 stickers, 1 checklist, 1 random unique rainbow foil card

    DAWN OF THE DEAD TRADING CARDS - WAX PACK (SINGLE) Retail Price: $5 9 trading cards, 1 sticker, sketch cards and other chase/parallel cards are randomly inserted, Glow in the dark wrapper."

    This is the type of news that makes the Horror collector side of me go "Holy crap!" and the cheap side of me go "Holy crap!", because while these are awesome, these are expensive. Well, I guess the single packs aren't bad, but with shipping, you're still looking at about $10 for a pack. For the more money-having of you out there be sure to check back on Fright-Rags next Wednesday.


    Related Posts with Thumbnails