Sunday, December 31, 2006

Frank LaLoggia + David Spear - Fear No Evil

The1981 film Fear No Evil by Frank LaLoggia and David Spear. Fear No Evil was kind of a missed opportunity. In the film Stefan Arngrim is Andrew. Andrew as it turns out is Lucifer personified. For some reason he chose the body of some nerdy highschool kid for his visit to Earth. So, basically we have a Teenage Mephistopheles set lose in a highschool. Mayhem, homoerotic showering and eventually zombies, ensue.

LaLoggia's heart was in the right place with this one, but the film misses the mark in the long run. I think the film might've done better if they had gone with the working title, "Wussy Lucifer". I don't know, when I think of Lucifer and Hell, I think "Ultimate Evil and Unholy Darkness", you know, horned red guys torturing virgins, drinking the blood of virgins, and other evil activities involving virgins like depicted in all the 80's Metal album cover imagery that caused such a stir back then. When I see this guy I think "Man, if there were ever a guy who deserved a wedgie...."

This movie does feature a "death by ball" scene that predates the one in Deadly Friend by several years. Although this film uses a dodgeball and not a basketball. I think a dodgeball makes more sense though, I'm sure dozens of children over the years have met their fate at the business end of a dodgeball. Worst game, ever? Quite possibly. Speaking of that scene, how into it was that Gym teacher during the dodgeball game? "Get them!!! GET THEM!!! KILL HIM!!!!" I mean, I take dodgeball as seriously as the next guy, but come on, that was just ridiculous. Also, I dare you not to chuckle when our Lucifer exclaims "I am the life source! I shall be, like, the most high!". What? Like, the most high? Bill S. Preston Esquire as the profane incarnation of Lucifer. As goofy as the movie can get at times the music is actually rather well done, so while I can't really recommend the film I do recommend giving the music a shot.

1. EPILOGUE (06:00)2. MAIN TITLE (02:14)3. THE CHRISTENING (00:42)4. EIGHTEEN YEARS (00:55)5. BICYCLE/DAMON'S DEATH (03:13)6. MIKHAIL'S PRAYER (00:47)7. THE ISLAND (01:06)8. MIKHAIL'S LAMENT (00:57)9. BATTLE BALL/THE FUNERAL (02:36)10. GABRIELLE'S VISION (02:05)11. FOLLOW ME/IS HE THERE? (03:46)12. RAISE THE DEAD (01:25)13. PASSION PLAY (01:43)14. TO THE BOAT (01:06)15. KNOCKERS (01:10)16. FINALE (07:06)

If anyone has the soundtrack with The Ramones, Talking Heads, etc., please let me know, I'd love to have that one as well.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Selections from Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout

This is another one of those completely retarded things that's very existence completely amazes me. The self-dubbed "scariest exercise video ever made", Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout. Although if we're choosing the scariest exercise video ever made I'd like to throw this little number out there as one I think just might take the cake for that title.

So I was bored and thought it'd be fun to rip the music from a few of the little routines, or whatever the hell you call workout numbers. I've been going back and forth on whether to post this or not. The copy I have was a DVD+R copy given to me by a friend. It was ripped from a VHS, which is surely the only incarnation of this thing we'll ever see, so the sound quality on these few tracks is not great. I tried to touch up the audio, I did some noise reduction, but I'm not an expert or anything, so it's not great. But it's not totally terrible. The music itself is cheesy as hell, kinda like Nintendo-ish music from 1988, but like Nintendo music that you can dance to or something. In fact the final track reminds me of the music from T&C Surf Design
. The first track is actually very cool, but sadly Linnea is in the shower for the whole scene so you can hear water running the whole track. I mean, "Yay!" for the naked part, but the music suffers from it. I don't know, I just thought it would be kinda funny to post this. If at least one person gets a kick out of this, then I've done my job.

John Vulich is credited as the man responsible for the music. This is his only attempt at scoring, although he's done a lot of make-up work for films like Day of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead 1990, and Being John Malkovich. He most recently did effects work on Christopher Nolan's The Prestige.

The workout video is only an hour-long, 1/4 of which is just clips from Linnea's movies, then there are scenes between each routine so the "soundtrack" here is only about 25 minutes long.

1. Warning : The Most Gratuitous Shower Scene Since Sorority House Massacre II
2. The Killer Interupts Linnea's Warmup
3. Zombie Joggers Stalk Linnea
4. Final Workout Prior To The Slaughter


Enjoy Kristy Langford on Linnea Quigley. Thanks Kristy! Linnea Quigley Interview

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Twisted Sister - Oh Come All Ye Faithful

To celebrate the holiday I thought I'd share one the all time greatest holiday songs being completely desecrated by Twisted Sister. Featuring what appears to be Bobcat's brother Fredcat Goldthwait on drums. I'd like to thank Mike Nelson for that joke I shamelessly stole from him.
Thanks Mike!

My question, how come the girl in the video keeps her shirt on the whole time? What the hell? That's the rule, a video for this kind of music, women are there to lose their clothes at some point and nothing else, I know the 80's
Sister wouldn't have stood for this crap. I'm totally kidding by the way, in case anyone takes offense to that. One more question, did this
video need to be like 7 minutes long?

Friday, December 22, 2006

The Morgue Wants try and help me out with some requests.

Thought I'd try my luck and see if anyone happens to have a few things I'm looking for. Well, things I'm looking for, and things I've had requests for that I couldn't fulfill. If anyone has any of these let me know. If you upload it yourself I can make a post with it, or just send me in the direction of a site you find it on, if you do. Whatever works for you. Also, if you're here to make a request you can check on my links, my Rate Your Music list is there, so you can see if I have it first. So, here's the list, which as of this update is alphabetized.

Action Jackson
American Flyers
An American Werewolf In London, music by Elmer Bernstein - Got it!
Bare Knuckles
Brainscan - Got it!
Buio Omega (Beyond the Darkness)
Cav. Costante Nicosia demoniaco, ovvero: Dracula in Brianza, Il
La vergine di Norimberga by Riz Ortolani
C.H.U.D. or C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the CHUD
Children of Dune - Brian Tyler
Dead Presidents
Doctor Faustus by Mario Nascimbene
Doppia Faccia by Nora Orlandi
Dracula A.D. 1972 by Michael Vickers
Dracula Père Et Fils (1977) by Vladimir Cosma
Dune Miniseries - Graeme Revell
Elmer Bernstein - Stripes
Elmer Bernstein - Spies Like Us
The Eye (Pang Brothers)
Femme Fatale
Grand Canyon by James Newton Howard
Goblin - Contamination
Mama Dracula by Roy Budd
Major League
Miami Vice
Murder By Death
One Missed Call
Phenomena (Creepers) - I have the score, but Bill is looking for the one with Iron Maiden and Motorhead.
Polar Express
Private Eyes
Profeta, Il by Armando Trovajoli -
Profumo di donna by Armando Trovajoli
Rock 'n' Roll High School Forever
Roller Boogie
Slaughterhouse Rock - if a bootleg edition exists out there somewhere
Slugger's Wife
Spring Break - Got it!
Tender Mercies
Tokyo Decadence by Ryuichi Sakamoto
Twins of Evil by Harry Robertson

I'm adding to the list as I get comments, so if you're looking for something leave a comment. I'll try and help you find it. Or maybe someone else will be kind enough to share it.

George A. Romero's Day of the Dead vs. Vanilla Ice is 'Cool As Ice'

Okay, this is kind of a collaboration I have going with the newly founded Covered's Place. These few were soundtracks I had requested for him to put up and he said it was cool to just use his links to them, so I'll put them up here unless he changes his mind on that. Be sure to swing by and check out the site, plenty more stuff to check out, I'm just putting the stuff I requested up. There's usually a few new things added a day.

This is the music from my personal favorite of Romero's Dead Trilogy. Well, I guess it's a "Quadrilogy" at this point, isn't it? Still my favorite.
I don't know, I just really like the film. The effects are just outstanding, Dr. Tongue immediately comes to mind, and Joe Pilato is a great bad guy. I think it's an all around great film, though I understand why Dawn would be the more popular of the trilogy. Random trivia, the actor who played everyone's favorite zombie, Bub actually appeared as Elaine's "Fat Starving Artist" on the Junior Mint episode of Seinfeld. Let's go watch them slice this fat bastard up.

1. The Dead Suite (19:39)
2. Breakdown (03:50)
3. Escape Invasion (03:56)
4. The Dead Walk (04:51)
5. If Tomorrow Comes (03:37)
6. The World Inside Your Eyes (02:29)
7. Deadly Beginnings (07:25)
8. Diner of the Living Dead (01:39)
9. Dead Calm (01:53)
10. Bub's 9th (00:36)
11. Dead End (21:39)
The Dead have waited. The day has come:
Fuck You Sir!

I'm saving the best for last here, Vanilla Ice's feature film debut, the current holder of the #23 spot on the IMDB's Bottom 100, a reliable source if there ever was one, Cool As Ice. Directed by the man who brought us Inspector Gadget and a shitload of Playboy videos. My question, how in the hell is Sinbad not in this movie? Also, didn't they rip off that motorcycle/horse scene from Top Gun? While I'm on roll with the questions, didn't Adaptation also rip that off for the "technology vs. horse" bit? What happened to Ice's "metal" image he created for himself years after the kibosh was put on his rap career? So many questions, so little actual concern regarding the answers.

01 - Cool as Ice
02 - Gonna Catch You
03 - You've Got to Look Up
04 - Luve 2 Love U
05 - People's Choice
06 - Never Wanna Be Without You
07 - Forever
08 - Faith
09 - Drop That Zero
10 - Get Wit' It

When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. Just add Ice:

Thanks again to Covered's Place for letting me post these, be sure to click the link above and give his site a visit, like I said, a lot of great stuff you will want to check out.

Norman Orenstein - American Psycho 2

This is Norman Orenstein's music from the uh, film American Psycho 2. One of the greatest all-time "cash-in with nothing at all to do with the original" sequels. Okay, the movie is more or less a complete shit-pickle, so by "greatest", I mean worst offender. The movie stars Mila Kunis and William "The Shat" Shatner, and was directed by Morgan Freeman! Okay, Morgan J. Freeman, not the actor. It's a shame though, the other Morgan would've been far more interesting. In the film Mila Kunis is Rachel. When Rachel was 9 years old her babysitter took her with her on a date with Patrick Bateman. Who brings the kid they're babysitting on a date? Seems like "Don't take her with you on a date" would be like number 2 in the "Things Not to do While Babysitting" Handbook, right behind "Don't let the kid die". Anyway, Patrick kills the babysitter and while he's not paying attention Rachel in turn, kills him. This prologue scene is like 34 seconds long and was totally tacked on after the film was finished to sell a few more copies.

As a sequel to the great American Psycho, it's completely shameful. However, by itself it's a fairly entertaining lite-slasher film. Mila Kunis gives a pretty fun performance and she's damn cute in a tiny little chick kinda way. Plus you also get The Shat hamming it up, both with his acting performance and with his physical appearance. Yep, I just made a fat joke at a 75-year old man's expense. I've just bought myself a ticket straight to hell.

The music is very fun actually. It's got a light-hearted feel that really reminds me a lot of Beetlejuice at times. Not on the same quality level, but it just sounds kinda similar on some of the tracks. I'm not familiar with Norman Orenstein's work, in fact his listing on Rate Your Music didn't even exist until I added it, but this one is pretty entertaining.

1. All American Girl (02:10)2. Rachael & Starkman (01:31)3. Get Gerty (00:43)4. Press Release (01:22)5. Killing Brian (01:54)6. Dr. Daniels 1 (02:02)7. Dr. Daniels 2 (01:48)8. Faster Women (02:53)composed by Norman Orenstein 9. Cassandra & Rachael (00:45)10. Rachael & Dr. Daniels (02:32)11. Stalking Keith (01:08)12. Starkman Investigates (03:25)13. Flashback (04:21)14. Security Guard (00:44)15. That Really Intense Girl (01:03)16. Daniels Phone (00:37)17. In The Bedroom (00:45)18. Rachael & Daniels Encounter (01:21)19. Stark Jazz (02:25)20. Daniels Investigates (01:33)21. Police Investigate (08:00)22. Quantico (00:21)23. Elizabeth McGuire (01:56)24. That´s The Story (00:58)25. Stuck With You (03:34)performed and written by Kelly Slattry

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episode 610: The Violent Years

Okay, as promised, here is MST3K Episode 610: The Violent Years. A film written by Ed Wood and directed by the guy who edited Tarantula, so you know you're in good hands. The Violent Years is a film about some rich girl who is spoiled with money and gifts from her parents when all she wants is some affection from them. So her and her gang go around robbing and eventually killing people. Makes sense. Oddly the gang in the movie didn't seem to have a name. That's the best part of starting up a gang. I bet a good 80% of all gangs were started just because someone thought of a really good gang name that they didn't want to see go to waste.

I apologize for this not being up until now, I had it ready to post at about 3 this afternoon, which is the very time my internet inexplicably stopped working. Amazingly, shaking my fist violently in anger at the computer and calling it names like "Dickweed" failed to help the situation. 5 hours later it finally sprung back into action. It started working again as inexplicably as it stopped hours earlier.

So I had a chance to watch this one during the internet downtime. It is, in fact, a great episode. There is a short before the film, some weird ass sitcom-like electricity advertisement called Young Man's Fancy (which sounds like the name of some kind of spanking fetish magazine from the 40s). This short was absolutely hilarious, one of the all-time best in my opinion. Several lines made me have to stop the episode because I was laughing so hard. We then move on to the 1956 film The Violent Years, or "Penthouse Forum: The Movie" as it's referenced as at the start of some weird sweater theft/4 women on 1 man reverse rape scene. Hard to explain, but Mike, Tom and Crow are just on the whole time during this odd scene making it one of the funniest of the episode. The host segments were great too, minus one with Tom in a wig screaming for 3 minutes. Tom Servo's theme song he makes himself is funny as hell and Mike and Crow do a brilliant reenactment of the robbery scene from the movie. So, great short, great movie choice, and great host segments. I highly recommend this one.

As I said before, if you try TMPGEnc or Nerovision Express you can make a decent DVD out of the file. Not great quality, but very watchable. I don't have a cover for this episode, if anyone has a decent quality poster image or a DVD cover they can scan with art from The Violent Years I would appreciate it and I could make one. I just can't find any art of decent enough quality to use.

Three parts, you need all three to view the episode:

On a side note does anyone recommend or having anything negative to say about switching from "Old" Blogger to the Beta version? I was okay with sticking with the old version out of fear that switching would mess up the site somehow. But I saw Beta has some "Drag and Drop" editing feature that sounds like it might be cool. It's a bitch for me to fix stuff like the small dot in my banner, and the actual banner itself. Any comments on that would be appreciated.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Wicker Man vs. The Wicker Man - A Retrospective

I felt it was review time. As with all my previous reviews (all both of them) keep in mind I have no real review writing experience so this might not be the most professional review ever. It also might be a bit on the rambling side, like 92% of my posts end up being. I did try and avoid sounding like a random 14-year old girl written IMDB user review. Also despite the title this is pretty much mostly discussing the remake, but I do discuss the original some too.

I just took in a viewing of the Neil LaBute directed remake of The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage. Yeah. I watched the uncut version which is slightly more graphic than the one released in theaters. I also loses a tremendously tacky coda that was seemingly trying to setup a sequel. I hadn’t seen the Edward Woodward one in a few years so I just watched that one to refresh my memory.

I could make this very brief.

Wicker Man 1973 - Good. A classic film. Wicker Man 2006 - Uhh, not so good. I could stop there, but that would be a cheap, half-assed review. I think I’d like to use at least 2/3rds of my ass on this assignment I’ve given myself.

The Wicker Man 1973. Apart from the barely tolerable music in the original , it’s a great movie. The music does drag it down a bit for me because, frankly, it gives me a headache. I'm not talking score-wise, I mean the numerous musical numbers. The opening song feels so much like Foldgers’ “Best part of waking up….” jingle it’s not even funny. The film itself is mysterious and creepy. It’s slow moving, but in the good “suck you in” kinda way. The ending, even though I’d heard about it before seeing, was very powerful and you really felt for the character who was just trying to do a good thing. The film also had Christopher Lee and featured an odd scene of the very non-ugly Britt Eckland completely bare assed naked singing and dancing around. At one point even slapping her own ass mid-dance. It’s a tough act to follow. As I found out while watching the remake, it’s a very, very tough act to follow.

The Wicker Man 2006. I hate doing the plot description part, so I’ll be brief. Nicolas Cage is Edward Malus. Edward is an overacting sheriff who goes to a small island called Summersisle to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. Ellen Burstyn is Sister Summersisle, who is, I don’t know, like the mayor of the island, or queen, or cult leader, who seems to have some sort of virgin girl posse with her at all times. But they’re usually like 50 feet away from her, like they have a restraining order or something. Not sure what that was all about. Anyway there’s more to the plot than that, but it’d take another paragraph to explain it all, and it just doesn’t really matter. Plus further explaining it would probably include a lot of spoilers. This new version, while it looks like they were trying, is just not suspenseful, creepy or all that interesting. In addition the film is littered with pointless flashbacks to things we already saw in the very film we are watching. I believe it was Thomas Servo who said “You know you’re in trouble when a movie starts showing you parts of itself.” I was more intrigued by the fact that Sister Summersisle shows up at the finale wearing some Braveheart make-up for no apparent reason than the rest of the plot. Would’ve like the back story on that. Maybe they could’ve replaced the 4th and 5th flashback to the opening car crash with someone explaining the William Wallace face paint.

Wicker Man 2006, like most remakes these days, is not an outright terrible film. It’s unnecessarily ridiculous at times, but it’s not awful. Okay, it’s pretty awful, but not completely unwatchable. It all just seems kind of pointless. It just moves along, it ends and you go do something else. You don’t really think about it after it’s over. It isn’t very suspenseful or anything. Kinda boring, really. You find yourself striking up full conversations at random throughout the movie and the person you’re talking to doesn’t seem to mind the interruption. And afterwards you can jump right back into the movie and not have missed anything. It really makes you question the purpose of this particular remake. People who like the original, like the original and think it‘s good the way it is. People who hate the original won’t be interested in seeing another version of it. And people who haven’t seen or heard of the original, most Americans for example, won’t even know what the hell The Wicker Man is, so it’s not like they really even get the built-in name recognition of something like, say, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Whatever happened to just blatantly ripping off a movie and calling it something different? Hell, it seems like much of the entire Italian film industry was based on this idea throughout the 70s and 80s. How many Italian Mad Max ripoffs were there?

While Wicker Man 2006 lacks in suspense or quality it more than makes up for it with several scenes of accidental gut-busting hilarity. Towards the end of the movie it seemingly turns into to one of those Lifetime Original battered women films. Edward just starts beating the hell out of all the women on the island, and screaming “Bitches!” repeatedly at them. Now, I don’t condone violence, especially against women, so that is not what I find hilarious. It’s just so bizarrely handled, the way it all goes down is very funny. After a little disagreement with the Kathy Bates-esque Sister Beech he draws back and punches her in the face. Afterwards Leelee Sobieski’s Sister Honey character ambushes Edward and jumps on his back. He judo chops her, then karate kicks her in the face, sending her flying into a wall like he’s goddamn Chuck Norris fighting off a gang of evil hooligans. What the hell? After my friend and I wiped the tears of laughter from our eyes we went back on the DVD, just to make sure we weren’t hallucinating. Then we went back 2 or 3 more times because it kept getting funnier every time we saw it. One of the most random things I’ve ever seen in my life. Who kicks a non-ninja girl in the face? I’m amazed he didn’t let out a hearty “Hi-ya!” mid-kick. Poor Leelee. First, her parents name her Leelee, then she has to act along side Chris Klein, now Francis Ford Coppola’s nephew kicks her in the freakin’ head.

Now on to Nick. The movie suffers from one of Nick’s “off” performances. Nicolas Cage, I think, is great in his more offbeat roles. For example, H.I. McDunnough in Raising Arizona, Charlie and Donald Kaufman in Adaptation, stuff like that, he’s great. But I find when he does the standard Action or dramatic roles he can be very off at times. There’s an awful scene in this movie where he loses it while holding a burnt doll, and he starts screaming “How Did It Burn! How Did It Burn?” My friend and I were literally on the ground, in a hysterical fit of laughter for several minutes. Not just regular laughter either, this was like power laughter. You know, when you laugh so hard it actually hurts? Where your stomach starts to feel sore from the amount of laughter you’re experiencing and you start to have trouble breathing? We laughed until we choked. It was that funny. It was just such a poor line delivery. There are probably countless outtakes of the actress he’s screaming at struggling not to break into a fit of laughter, similar to what I went through. He seems to really have trouble acting in the presence of a child’s toy. Just look at the whole “bun-ney!!” fiasco in Con-Air. I don’t even want to get started on his performance in Con-Air.

Anyway, back to the Wicker Man. The ending, while not as powerful as in the original, isn’t too poorly handled. It’s appropriately downbeat, although it’s hard to feel for a guy who just got all pissy and beat the hell out of like 6 or 7 different women. My friend who had never seen the original didn’t seem to see it coming so I guess they didn‘t totally botch that part. But still, the bad outweighs the good here. I would suggest those of you who can find humor in bad filmmaking decisions at least blow a free rental coupon on it because there are some genuinely funny scenes to behold if you’re willing to wade through a whole bunch of shit to find them. I’m directing that statement mostly to the MST3K fans who visit the site, because everyone who watches that show will eventually end up poorly riffing what they watch themselves and this is a great one to do so with. I'm not funny at all, but even I had some good zingers. But if you’ve seen neither version, just go out and check out the 1973 version. Or just go outside and do something else. I hear hiking is fun.

I give Neil LaBute's Wicker Man a 5.7 out of 10. The real Wicker Man I would say 8.4 out of 10.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Thing With Two Heads!

Today's music comes from Lee Frost's classic film starring Ray Milland and Roosevelt "Rosey" Grier ( and possibly maybe even slightly inspiring How to Get Ahead in Advertising, at least a little bit, perhaps? ), The Thing With Two Heads! Okay, I know, that exclamation point isn't a part of the title like Airplane! or something, but I can't type that without throwing one at the end. It's really a title that's better yelled than spoken. Try it next time you talk about it. Scares the hell out of people. By the way, I want to apologize for the really weird spacing up there, it's kinda hard to read, but I can't fix it properly.

The Thing With Two Heads! is of course the light hearted romp where some doctors "transplant a white bigot's head on a soul brother's body", as the tagline goes. Hilarity, as you might imagine, ensues. It's a fairly entertaining movie, but it's not the most highly regarded film ever made. Probably not the most highly regarded film made that week, even. It is notable for featuring the first credited work by the most handsome man in make-up effects and 6-time Academy Award winner, Rick Baker.

And now, your tracklist, featuring the incomparable Sammy Davis, Jr.!
1. A Prayer (03:12)
Peformed By Jerry Butler
2. Dip, Dip I Got My Hands Full (03:55)
Performed By Billy Butler & Infinity
3. Bongolia (02:14)
Performed By The Incredible Bongo Band
4. Here I Am Again (03:08)
Performed By Ollie Nightingale
5. Fool's Paradise (02:23)
Performed By The Sylvers
6. May The Best Man Win (03:21)
Performed By Ollie Nightingale
7. I'm Truly Happy (02:45)
Performed By The Sylvers
8. Bongo Rock (02:36)
Performed By The Incredible Bongo Band
9. Take My Hand (04:23)
Performed By Sammy Davis, Jr.
10. Oh Happy Day (02:30)
Performed By The Mike Curb Congregation

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Actor Peter Boyle Dies at 71

I have no music to post right now (probably later on today though) but I just found out Peter Boyle died last night. I'm very saddened by the news, he was always entertaining no matter what he was doing. In addition to being a great actor he was also one of the all-time great Television Franks (up there with Frank Costanza and TV's Frank from MST3K) and he will be missed. Everyone should honor him today by watching Young Frankenstein or Taxi Driver, or any of the numerous things he appeared in. You could even catch a Raymond repeat on one of the several channels it comes on.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Michel Legrand - Une Femme Est Une Femme

Here's the score from Jean-Luc Godard's 1961 sophomore directorial effort Une Femme Est Une Femme. Well second feature length directorial effort, he had done some short films prior.

The tracklist for this one kinda resembles what you'd find on a Regurgitate album or something. It's not a bunch of hilarious and disgustingly titled grindcore songs, obviously, I mean there's a whole bunch of tracks, but some of them are only 30 seconds to a minute long. In fact the whole file is only about 20MB. I'm sure there's probably a better example I could've used, but what the hell, you don't get a chance to mention Godard and grind in the same breath very often.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III: Season of the Witch. The non-Michael Myers Halloween film. While it lacks Michael and the very, very talkative Dr. Loomis, it does have Tom "Thrill Me" Atkins, who later starred in one of my absolute favorite movies, Night of the Creeps. I remember there being a ton of hatred for this movie, seemingly only because it tried to do something other than just having Michael ice people, while Loomis talked alot while trying to stop him. But movie fans seem to have started warming up to it recently. 20 years after directing Halloween III, Tommy Lee Wallace went on to direct another film in a series John Carpenter started, the Bon Jovian film Vampires: Los Muertos.

I personally blame the movie's overall lack of success on that godforsaken Silver Shamrock music. Hearing that highpitched "8 more days till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween" jingle is enough to drive someone batshit insane. My finger was on the fast forward button the whole time just in case that song started up. Which it did, many, many times. I swear, if there was just one more day till Halloween in the movie I would've gotten up and run headfirst into the TV, killing the TV, probably myself, and most importantly, stopping that goddamn jingle. Check out track 7 of the soundtrack, you'll feel the same way.

Fortunately, that is a small part of the soundtrack. The rest of the music by Alan Howarth, and JC himself (John Carpenter, not Jesus) is appropriately spooky and eerie, and does not make you want to kill yourself.

1. Main Title (02:55)2. Chariots of Pumpkins (03:24)3. Drive to Santa Mira (02:29)4. Starker and Marge (01:53)5. First Chase (03:09)6. Robots at the Factory (02:00)7. Halloween Montage (01:38)Last track of side 1 of LP. Announcer: Tommy Lee Wallace8. Hello Grandma (04:53)9. The Rock (03:25)10. Challis Escapes (03:30)11. South Corridor (02:58)12. Goodbye Ellie (04:09)

Jang Young-gyu - A Bittersweet Life (Dalkomhan insaeng)

Here is the soundtrack from the film A Bittersweet Life (Dalkomhan insaeng). The film was directed by Ji-woon Kim who also directed the underrated The Quiet Family and A Tale of Two Sisters (soundtrack for that one is available here). Bittersweet is often compared to Oldboy, or it's at least usually mentioned in the same breath as Oldboy, which is a film I honestly did not care for. Blasphemy, I know. To this day I am the only person I know of who didn't like Oldboy. Seriously, check out the reviews on the Movie Review Query Engine, it's like 95% 3/4 or higher. Popular film.

Now, that I've thrown all my credibility out the window with my anti-Oldboy sentiments we can move onto the music for A Bittersweet Life. It's a very classy score, you could probably throw it on during a dinner party or something if you were so inclined. Although track 10 gets kinda action-packed towards the end, so be careful. Don't quote me on this tracklist here, I'm not 100% on it. The titles were in Korean so I had to hunt the tracklist down off of some random site. If anyone catches any mistakes, let me know.

01 Dialogue #1
02 My Sad Night
03 Irreversible Time
04 Dialogue #2
05 Romance (Composed By Yuhki Kuramoto)
06 Red Lounge
07 Long Journey
08 Red Ice-rink
09 A Bittersweet Life II
10 A Bittersweet Life
11 Escape
12 Fearness
13 Dark Room
14 Follow
15 Etude In E Minor (Composed By Francisco Tarrega)
16 Dialogue #3
17 Sky Lounge
18 Irrevisible Time (Quartet)
19 A Bittersweet Life III
20 A Honeyed Question

Friday, December 08, 2006

Body by Jake - Yes, there was a soundtrack.

Okay, this is probably the dumbest thing I've posted here to date. This one might even beat out Freddy's Greatest Hits. This is the soundtrack from Body by Jake, the 80's workout show featuring Jake Steinfeld, Chairman of Body By Jake Enterprises and one-time PCP ingesting movie maniac.

This is a collection of tacky pop/rock music that I guess a 100-pound, 40-year old woman clad in leopard print spandex, brandishing 5-lb plastic weights in either hand would've worked out to in 1988. My personal favorite is track 7, "Hard as a Rock", which has some hilarious accidentally porngraphic sounding lyrics. Enjoy?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Just One of the Guys

Someone requested this one recently and I just got it, so here it is. This is the soundtrack from the highly entertaining 1985 film Just One of the Guys. This one had a great cast. Joyce Hyser was good as Terry the girl, but just wonderful as Terry in guy form. Very fun watching her try to adapt to acting like she has testicles. Also two people from one of my favorite horror films, April Fools Day show up, Clayton Rohner as Rick Morehouse, and Deborah Goodman as Deborah. The movie also starred the highly attractive Sherilyn Fenn, Leigh McCloskey of Hamburger: The Motion Picture "fame", and William Zabka, who had the "80's bullying asshole" character down right from the start of his career.

I've always wondered how Terry was able hide a certain part of her body so well. When she flashes Rick Morehouse at the end of the film it turns out that Terry is, uh, quite....bossomy, for lack of a better word. Seems like that would've shown a little more in her guy get-up. Okay, I didn't wonder too hard, I'm sure she just wore a sports bra. And she's in a bikini early in the movie so you know what's going on there already. But still, you get so used to her being a boy when that part comes up and Bam!! It's a little startling. And being 7 or so when I first saw this, it was the coolest thing in the history of the world for that 2 seconds while it lasted. So here you go, enjoy. I'm off to watch the movie now, talking about it has me wanting to see it again.

1. Just One of the Guys
Performed by Shalamar
2. Girls Got Something Boys Ain't Got
Performed by Midnight Star
3. Tonight You're Mine
Performed by Ronnie Spector
4. Prove It To You
Performed by Dwight Twilley
5. Jealous
Performed by Berlin
6. Way Down
Performed by Billy Burnette
7. Burning
Performed by Brock/Davis
8. Thrills
Performed by Greg French
9. Hard Way
Performed by Brock/Davis
10. Guy Talk
Performed by Tom Scott

All balls itch! It's a fact!


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