Saturday, December 30, 2006

Selections from Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout

This is another one of those completely retarded things that's very existence completely amazes me. The self-dubbed "scariest exercise video ever made", Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout. Although if we're choosing the scariest exercise video ever made I'd like to throw this little number out there as one I think just might take the cake for that title.

So I was bored and thought it'd be fun to rip the music from a few of the little routines, or whatever the hell you call workout numbers. I've been going back and forth on whether to post this or not. The copy I have was a DVD+R copy given to me by a friend. It was ripped from a VHS, which is surely the only incarnation of this thing we'll ever see, so the sound quality on these few tracks is not great. I tried to touch up the audio, I did some noise reduction, but I'm not an expert or anything, so it's not great. But it's not totally terrible. The music itself is cheesy as hell, kinda like Nintendo-ish music from 1988, but like Nintendo music that you can dance to or something. In fact the final track reminds me of the music from T&C Surf Design
. The first track is actually very cool, but sadly Linnea is in the shower for the whole scene so you can hear water running the whole track. I mean, "Yay!" for the naked part, but the music suffers from it. I don't know, I just thought it would be kinda funny to post this. If at least one person gets a kick out of this, then I've done my job.

John Vulich is credited as the man responsible for the music. This is his only attempt at scoring, although he's done a lot of make-up work for films like Day of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead 1990, and Being John Malkovich. He most recently did effects work on Christopher Nolan's The Prestige.

The workout video is only an hour-long, 1/4 of which is just clips from Linnea's movies, then there are scenes between each routine so the "soundtrack" here is only about 25 minutes long.

1. Warning : The Most Gratuitous Shower Scene Since Sorority House Massacre II
2. The Killer Interupts Linnea's Warmup
3. Zombie Joggers Stalk Linnea
4. Final Workout Prior To The Slaughter


Enjoy Kristy Langford on Linnea Quigley. Thanks Kristy! Linnea Quigley Interview


phelpster said...

Oh dammit all to hell, for no apparent reason whatsoever the link to my compilation is not leading to anywhere. If you missed the compilation and you're thinking you'd like to check it out, here's the link:

neal snow said...

I know that this "Gem" was released on laserdisc in Japan many moons ago, so I'll throw out another of my mass hunts to try to get a clean copy for you. No promises that anything will come of it, though. Cross your fingers.

Dave S. said...

I want a copy of that shower scene! :D

phelpster said...

neal - Wow, so this does exist on a non-VHS format? That is truly amazing. Well let me know if you get it, the quality would probably be alot better than what I've got here.

dave - yeah it's really gratuitous, it's like 2 minutes of them panning up and down while Linnea washes herself. I actually was originally going to try and post the movie like I do with the MST3K episodes, but I have yet to master turning DVD video into .avi files while having it still look decent.

Dave S. said...

Try using DVDShrink. I used it to make a copy of Re-Animator for a friend of mine, and it fit on a 700MB CD.

Cineaste said...

I just got a chance to listen to this and I've got to say it's one of my favorite downloads of the year. Great, cheesy, and porn-tastic! Linnea's commentary is especially riveting.

Great stuff!

Kristy Langford said...

I love Linnea and have been wanting to see this for a long time. When I went to my first horror convention, a friend of mine gave me a one sheet ad for this and I still have it.

BTW, if you wanna read an interview I did with Linnea, here's the link to check it out.

phelpster said...

kristy - Very cool interview, I wish I could interview someone. Closest I ever got was emailing King Fowley from the metal band Deceased to ask what movie the sample from one of their songs was.

Linnea is always fun, you don't see many people in their underwear holding a chainsaw and Linnea has done this at least twice that I know of. I can put that link on the actual post if you want so other people can read it.

phelpster said...

cineaste - Wow, thanks, that means a lot to me. I've seen so many cool things posted on so many different sites, so it's very cool to know that something I posted is one of your favorites of the year. I was originally going to cut the songs down without any of the words, but I thought it was more entertaining with her corny attempts at being sexy.

Scumbalina said...

wow. I can't believe you posted this. I officially love you.

I have a cool Linnea convention story too. Me and my best friend go to Screamfest every year, and this last year we went up to her booth and she started raving about my haircut. She told me that it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen and that I looked like "Marilyn". I nearly shit myself! Linnea's a goddess and I have worshipped the ground she walks on for as long as I can remember.

She kept saying that I have the haircut that she wanted. Coinsidentally, my best friend Katie cuts my hair, and I remembered she mentioned having brought her scissors, so I reccomended that Katie cut her hair while we were at the convention. She met us in our room and as a result, Linnea Quigley now has my haircut.

actually, this was in October, so she might have had it cut since then, but Linnea Quigley HAD my haircut and I'm still freaking out about it, haha.

wow, that was a long story. Sorry if it bored you. But this is my favorite downloading blog, so thanks again and keep em' comin!

Kristy Langford said...

Sadly, I have never met Linnea, but hopefully I will get the chance to.

Phelpster, by all means, post the link to my interview. That would be so cool! :-)

phelpster said...

Scumbalina - Oh man, that is a great story. Linnea seems like one of the few genuinely nice celebrities around. You always hear horror stories about people like Tom Savini, for example, being kinda mean at conventions and stuff. But people like Linnea, Angus Scrimm, or Reggie Bannister always come off so nice and appreciative of their fans whenever you hear stories about them. Your friend can actually say she's a "haircutter of the stars". I'm glad you enjoy my site, and I'm always happy to hear stories or get comments from people who visit the site, so thanks for the great story. Nothing boring about cutting Linnea Quigley's hair in your hotel room. That's just a whole lot of awesome.

Kristy - Sure I'll add it right now. Thanks for sharing it with me.\!

Anonymous said...

Can someone find ME a copy of this? I've been trying to hunt it down for ages!


VonCheech said...

thank you for the awesome video..!

could you reup this music rip ?

phelpster said...

Sorry, I meant to put that back up when I posted the video. It's back up now:)

The Fiji Mermaid said...

Phelpster, thanks for these audio rips. I agree the music during the opening shower scene is the best. Too bad about the water sound effects, but this is still great to listen to.


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