Sunday, April 14, 2013

Hilarious Faces of Death - The Graverobbers Edition

Today's Hilarious Face of Death comes to us courtesy of the 1988 film Grave Robbers (aka Dead Mate), directed by Straw Weisman, co-writer of Troma classic When Nature Calls.

A cute diner waitress/prostitute named Elizabeth Mannino is swept off her feet by a mysterious handsome stranger who looks like the end result of a drunken gay one night stand between Jimmy Fallon and Chris Kattan. Seriously, look at this guy:

He asks her to marry him literally within 30 seconds of meeting her. She probably finds this odd and suspicious, but since she's a hooker who also works in the saddest diner on Earth, she promptly agrees and they drive off in a limo. Here's the thing he forgets to tell her, he's a mortician and they will be living in the same house where he embalms corpses. Oh, and also he's a necrophiliac and he's going to kill and embalm her before they can proceed with consummation. The rest of the movie is Elizabeth acting poorly while having weirdo gore dreams, trying not to get death-sexed and trying to figure out just what is going on with her husband and his very bizarre town.

The character in the movie who provides the (most) hilarious death face is a high school girl (I think she was named Dawn) who is innocently driving her huge car to school. Suddenly, this poor girl is forced off the side of the road by Jimmy Kattan, where she crashes her car and is killed on impact. I bet she thought dying would be the last bad thing that would happen to her as a human, but nope, after the police leave she then has her carcass violated in the ambulance by pair of pervy paramedics. Very sad. And very unsanitary. However, it's very hard to feel sad for a character who dies looking like this:

Come on, that's your death face? Who dies like that? It looks like she bit her death! I'm not even sure how she pulled this face off. I've just come back from trying it out in the mirror. I can't do it. This girl has too much tongue or something. 

With the bit of plot I've given away, this actually sounds like a pretty dark movie now that I'm reading this back to myself, but believe me there is nothing that takes place in this movie that isn't completely misguided and hilarious. This movie is an accidental comedy masterpiece. The Video Kart DVD double feature that sees Grave Robbers paired up with Andy Milligan's Monstrosity is long out of print, but if you happen upon it at a pawn shop, or a torrent site, it really sucks, do check it out. If you need another reason to watch this junker, this also happens in this movie:

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