International Curtis Armstrong Day

I was just reading about Revenge of the Nerds and it turns out today is Curtis Armstrong's birthday. Therefore I declare November 27th (what little bit that's left of it, at least) International Curtis Armstrong day. Pointless post? Perhaps, but I really think the man deserves a medal or something. He will live on forever in the annals of movie history by making three great 80's comedies even greater with his overall hilariousness. That's not a word, I know, but dammit all I can't think of a better way to put it. Miles in Risky Business, Dudly 'Booger' Dawson in Revenge of the Nerds and Charles De Mar in Better Off Dead. Never a dull moment when he's onscreen. We need to get this man more work. Now! Granted he was in an Academy Award winning film a couple of years ago, but still, I want more Curtis. Who's with me?

I'll leave you with this. I've assembled some classic Curtis Armstrongisms into a poem. But not really at all. Enjoy:

Step aside mama, I wanna see some of that muff.
Why? Does she have a penis?
What the fuck are 'robster craws'?
I say we blow their fucking houses up.
My daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone.
Will you take his place?
Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.
I don't believe this! I've got a trig midterm tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.
I hope not. A virgin's a terrible thing to waste.
Greendale is a bodaciously small town, Lane. A fly speck on the map - a rest stop on the way to the ski slope. I can't even get real drugs here!
Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
We've got bush!

Autopsy - Severed Survival + Retribution for the Dead

I haven't posted any non-soundtrack music in a while, not since the ill-fated Birthday Massacre post a while back. (I still think they're awesome!) I just dug this one out of storage, this is the out of print album Severed Survival + Retribution for the Dead (Retribution is an EP included on the CD) by death metal legends Autopsy. If you're a fan of late 80's/early 90's death metal then you should have a good idea of what this album sounds like. The band was started after Chris Reifert left Death after their Scream Bloody Gore album. The music isn't as complex as Death or anything, but it's still recommended for those who like their metal on the deathy side. This album also featured Steve DiGiorgio (who also played with Death at one time, plus an assload of other bands) on bass. Plus the album cover is brilliant.

1. Charred Remains
2. Service for a Vacant Coffin
3. Disembowel
4. Gasping for Air
5. Ridden With Disease
6. Pagan Saviour
7. Impending Dread
8. Severed Survival
9. Critical Madness
10. Embalmed
11. Stillborn
12. Retribution for the Dead
13. Destined to Fester
14. In the Grip of Winter

Black Christmas: The Remake - The Trailer, It'll "Slay" you!

Just felt like posting this since I had a little rant on it a while back. The image above is the highpoint of the new Black Christmas remake (or re-imagining, or do-over, whatever the hell they call them these days) trailer, which has made it's way onto the IGN site. Get a glimpse of this potential abomination right here.

Doesn't look as terrible as say The Fog, but it's a touch silly I think. The trailer starts by flashing back to "15 years earlier" where Billy is killing his family on Christmas Eve. So far, so good, right? He then grabs an angel shaped cookie cutter, presses it into a corpsified family member's back and makes cookies out of her skin. Huh? Wouldn't it just be like really thin steak? I don't think a cookie can contain any form of flesh can it? (I know this trailer doesn't mention them being cookies, but I had seen another trailer where this is mentioned.) He's a cannibal now? Was he just really curious?

And as I'd feared Billy's voice just isn't all that scary. Not as bad as that dorky-ass Scream voice, but it failed to give me the willies. He's even borderline Freddy-sounding during his "You're my family now" quip at the end. I pray he doesn't zing anyone when he offs them. So far, I'm gonna say the only good points I've come up with are 1)that image at the end of the trailer is pretty cool and 2) the girls are all rather attractive. That's it. It looks more like a lackluster sequel much more than a remake. Worst of all; No Saxon.

Richard Band - Troll

Greetings and Happy Thanksgiving. I hadn't planned to update today, but really, what else am I doing? So for this special occasion I am posting Richard Band's music from a rather unspecial film, Troll, the real Harry Potter movie. Starring Atreyu from The Neverending Story, Elaine from Seinfeld and uh, Michael Moriarty. Sorry, I can't remember any character names for Moriarty. The film was directed by the man who later brought us Friday the 13th Part VII.

While Troll is fairly craptacular it has absolutely nothing on Troll 2. There's a reason Troll 2 (which contains no trolls, but a bunch of shitty looking goblins, rather) is currently holding the #10 spot on the IMDB Bottom 100. That reason being that it's terrible on a whole new level. A level so bad that a new word needs to be invented to even describe it, because there are no current words strong enough to say how much it sucks. But it is an absolute hoot, so try it out if you have a chance. Just be warned, it's kinda crappy.

Either way, Ricahrd Band's score is pretty entertaining, so have at it:

Wolfman's Got Nards! Bruce Broughton's score to The Monster Squad

This is the Bruce Broughton score to Fred Dekker’s The Monster Squad. This one seems to be quite hard to find and doesn’t appear to have a legitimate release available. Everyone loves this movie and I’ll tell you why, it’s great assortment of loveable characters. You get Dracula, Frankenstein (the kids acknowledge Frankenstein being the guy and not the monster, yet they just call him Frankenstein the whole time anyway), The Mummy, The Creature (or Gill Man, as he‘s called here), A betesticled Wolfman, Fat Kid, Wayne Arnold and of course Scary German Guy. Watching the movie now makes you notice it’s a bit more violent than it should have been given it being a bit on the kid-movie side. They shoot some vampire brides with stakes, Dracula picks up a little girl by the head and says “Give me the amulet, you Bitch!“ before being impaled on some really dangerous looking railing, they even explode the Wolfman for God’s sake. Pretty gruesome for a movie like this. But who knows without all that I might not be demented bastard I am today, so I still love it.

Watching it today also brings up a few questions. For example, why did “Fat Kid” have an aluminum foiled wrapped, half-eaten slice of pizza in his jacket pocket? I can understand Fat Kid has a candy bar, or Fat Kid has a bag of Skittles, but a slice of pizza? How fat was this kid supposed to be? I’ve also always wondered, does the Frankenstein monster really need the platform shoes? The man is pushing like 7 and a half feet as it is. Seems a bit unnecessary. Did they even have platform shoes in the 19th century?

Also, I thought I’d mention Ryan Lambert, who played the film’s badass, Rudy, sings in a band called Elephone. Pretty good band actually from the little bit I heard from their page.

Anyway, the tracklist I found has no titles, just numbers so that will have to do unless one of you out there have the tracklist. But download, and enjoy.

If we pull this off, I'm gonna shit!

The Morgue's Very First Compilation Album

I've seen these on several sites, so I thought I'd do my own. This is a compilation I've been working on. It’s a collection of some fantastically cheesy (and some not so cheesy) songs from movies I own. Most of these are from 80’s movies, but I had to throw a couple others in there to make the track list a bit bigger. I’ve titled this frightful compilation “My Heart is an Empty Tomb and your Name is Engraved Upon the Stone” which I blatantly swiped from the Giallo Title Generator. The title really has nothing to do with anything, I just thought it sounded cool in a really cheesy gothy kinda way. I made the cover using an old Vault of Horror comic cover. It's sized to fit in a cd jewel case, so if you want to print it out you can. These are from different sources, some downloaded over the years, some ripped from DVDs by me, so the quality varies from track to track. But I don’t think anything here sounds too horrible. The songs from Slumber Party Massacre and Sleepaway Camp were supplied by “Dusk” from a forum I visit. I intended to post the poor quality versions I had, but he had better quality versions, so thanks if you’re reading this.

Okay, I’ve laid this out with the movie title, then song title and performer. Some of these I wasn’t sure on, so if you catch any errors please leave a comment and let me know. The tracks are not numbered in the rar file, so this layout is just how I ended up putting them, so if you don’t like the track lineup you get the joy of making your own.

1. The Blob 1988 - Brave New World by Alien
2. The Monster Squad - Rock Until You Drop by Michael Sembello
3. Hamburger: The Motion Picture - No idea what this is called, or who does it. I’d imagine it would be “Hamburgers For America” so lets go with that.
4. Faceless - Faceless by Vincenzo Thoma
5. Zombie 4: After Death - Living After Death by Al Festa
6. Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan - The Darkest Side of the Night by Metropolis
7. Sleepaway Camp 2 - Desperate to Survive by Obsession
8. Night of the Demons - The Beast Inside by Dennis Tenney (Director Kevin Tenney’s brother!)
9. Bubba Ho-Tep - End Credits by Brian Tyler
10. Better Off Dead - With One Look
11. Azumi - Negai by Mina Ganaha
12. Slumber Party Massacre 2 - If Only by Wednesday Week
13. Back to School - Dead Man’s Party by Oingo Boingo
14. Revenge of the Nerds - Tri-Lamb Rap by The Nerds
15. C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud - Bud the Chud by Kipp Lennon (not 100% on this one)
16. Brazil - Brazil theme by Geoff Muldaur
17. House on the Edge of the Park - Sweetly by Riz Ortolani and Diana Corsini
18. Parents - Flying Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley
DOWNLOAD

Notes on some of the tracks:
The Blob - Alien; Brave New Love - This plays over the end credits. The Blob was one of the trilogy of great and incredibly gory remakes of the 1980’s (John Carpenter’s The Thing and David Cronenberg’s The Fly being the films that complete that informal trilogy) I don’t care for remakes much but I could watch any of those three at any given time over and over and never tire of them. What did they do so right that remakes these days do so wrong? It’s a mystery.

The Monster Squad - This song plays over the montage of The Monster Squad preparing for the big battle against Dracula and his Universal monster pals. Ripped from a DVD-R, this one was transferred from an old Laserdisc. So sound quality isn’t the best.

Hamburger: The Motion Picture - This movie is undeniably completely and utterly terrible, but I've owned the movie since I was 8 so it's among my favorite bad comedies. Those of you familiar with Just One of the Guys who manage to find a copy of Hamburger will enjoy seeing Kevin from that film as Russell, Hamburger U’s recuperating horndog in search of a degree. Also notable for being John Lovitz's first film appearance. The song here may have been done by whoever did the theme to the sitcom Step by Step. It's cheesiness is right up there along those lines. The sound quality on this is a bit rough, it was ripped from a DVD I had a friend make from my dilapidated VHS from like 1989.

Bubba Ho-Tep - There’s a kinda medley of several different pieces of music from the film played over the end credits, that is what I’ve put up here.

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan - Plays over the end credits, has some announcer guy from the movie over the beginning of the song. If anyone has a longer version of this one please come forward with it.

Sheb Wooley - Flying Purple People Eater; Okay, this song is in about 40 movies, but I put it on here because it plays over the end credits of one of my favorite movies, Bob Balaban’s criminally underrated film Parents. The film is very creepy and very awesome, check it out if you get a chance.

Okay, that about does it. I have a bunch of random movie music, like the theme to the film The Washing Machine and several other Italian and not so Italian horror films. Any interest in another compilation like this with those? Most of them were ripped by me from DVDs a couple years back.

Claudio Simonetti - Opera

Here is the soundtrack to the Dario Argento film Opera, or Terror at the Opera as it was known on the US VHS release. One of my favorite Argento films, and also features one of my favorite death scenes, as morbid as that sounds to say. If you've seen the film you know which scene I'm talking about, it involves a peephole and a phone, and it is awesome. I ripped this myself from the CD that was included with the Limited Edition DVD put out by Anchor Bay Entertainment. I hope you enjoy my emo-tastic font I added to the image above. It's cool because you can't really read it. That's how the kids like their fonts these days.

Claudio Simonetti was responsible for the music in the film, but the soundtrack does feature two bad Grim Reaper-like metal songs by Steel Grave, one called Steel Grave, and the other called Knights of the Night. Knights of the Night, which apart from having the dumbest title I've ever heard, also features a blatant ripoff of the main riff of Iron Maiden's 2 Minutes To Midnight. I guess Steel Grave was an usigned Italian band who was around at the time the movie was being made because I can't find any information at all on them.

1. Opera (02:23)
Claudio Simonetti
2. Crows (02:44)
Claudio Simonetti
3. Impending Danger (01:47)
Claudio Simonetti
4. Confusion (03:28)
Claudio Simonetti
5. Steel Grave (03:13)
Steel Grave
6. Cosmo (03:48)
Claudio Simonetti
7. Knights of the Night (02:50)
Steel Grave
8. Crows (03:11)
Claudio Simonetti
9. Days of Confusion (03:53)
Claudio Simonetti
10. Impending Danger (01:48)
Claudio Simonetti
11. Opera (04:35)
Daemonia
12. Albinoni in Rock (04:43)
Claudio Simonetti
13. I'll Take the Night (05:12)
Claudio Simonetti
14. To Frederica (03:10)
Claudio Simonetti

obsession. murder. madness.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episode 913: Quest of the Delta Knights

The latest addition to the MST3K collection. Here is the winner of the poll I put up, Episode 913 - Quest of the Delta Knights. Interesting episode in that Pearl switches places with Mike for a while. So Pearl joins Tom and Crow in the theater while Mike is stuck with Bobo and Brain Guy. To someone who wasn't familiar with the show that might be one of the dumbest sentences they've ever read. The director of the "film" actually just recently did the sequel to Behind Enemy Lines, which I think makes him one of the few directors of a film featured on MST3K who is still working today. Granted Delta Knights was only made about 13 years ago, where most of the films on the show were made quite some time before.

Moving on. Same as usual here, split into 3 parts, each on Megaupload. You need all three parts to be able to watch the episode. If anyone is interested I have a cover for it, leave a comment and I will put it up.

Delta Part 1
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CE9DHIWU
Delta Part 2
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TOQOWO7O
Delta Part 3
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1JO7YCEN

The Vikings in this movie don't vike very well.

Okay Episode 913 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Quest of the Delta Knights just barely beat out The Violent Years, so Delta Knights will be the next episode featured on the site. And since The Violent Years was also high in the running that will probably be the next one I'll put up. Look for Delta Knights either later on tonight or tomorrow. They take a while to upload, so it might be tomrrow before I have it up.

Session 9 - Original Score

Here is the score to one of my favorite films, Session 9. The music was done the Climax Golden Twins. Not sure who they are, and I don't think they've done another other cinematic scoring, but they do a bang up job on this one. Session 9 is one of the few movies to actually scare the bejesus out of me. I was really freaked out and jumpy the rest of the night. Really, it scared the hell out of me. The scene where the character who suffers from nyctophobia is being "chased" by the darkness as the power goes out is one of my favorite scenes of any movie ever.

This came out when I first started working for the world's most beloved video store chain, Blockbuster. For the first few months after the movie came out I was like that particular Blockbuster's own Session 9 publicist. I tried to get anyone who came in and asked for a good movie to rent it. (Of course suggesting a movie like this to the general movie going public is not such a good idea. Really customers asking for video store employees to suggest anything to them isn't a good idea either. A person you've never met and who isn't familiar with your personal movie taste is probably not going to have a good shot at picking something you'll like. I remember a guy actually yelled at me for suggesting Amelie one time. Asshole.) I only actually got a few people to watch Session 9, but those that did came out fans afterwards.

The score is genuinely unsettling and eerie, even if you don't like the movie the score is an essential addition to your collection.

1. A Few Simple Up & Down Jerks 2. Hobbes Theme 3. Noon, About Noon 4. I Live in the Gut 5. Mortified Pride 6. Exit Plan 7. I Want to Talk to Amy 8. I Saw You 9. Ward A 10. Seclusion 11. Disappointed Expectations 12. Piece of Tape Recorder

Okay, I'll try and add a Filesend link later, damn site won't let me upload right now. Rapidshare link, you know how it works, download this one soon or it might be deleted before you get a chance.
http://rapidshare.com/files/2399033/sessionnine.rar

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. A Romantic Comedy. I think.

The time is almost upon us. Troma's zombiefied chicken-people musical epic is finally almost just about ready to be released. At least I think so. Maybe sometime in December, I heard about this thing over a year ago. Anyway after watching the trailer I can say it looks exactly like you would think a movie called Poultrygeist would look. If nothing else, that is a damn fine title. Either way, I thought this little banner was fun:



Please note, this is just a quick filler post until today's music uploads. But until then click on the link above...if you dare! Also, it might be fun to check the archives here and see how many times I've made that same basic "...if you dare!" joke since I started. You might be suprised.