Sunday, November 26, 2006

Black Christmas: The Remake - The Trailer, It'll "Slay" you!

Just felt like posting this since I had a little rant on it a while back. The image above is the highpoint of the new Black Christmas remake (or re-imagining, or do-over, whatever the hell they call them these days) trailer, which has made it's way onto the IGN site. Get a glimpse of this potential abomination right here.

Doesn't look as terrible as say The Fog, but it's a touch silly I think. The trailer starts by flashing back to "15 years earlier" where Billy is killing his family on Christmas Eve. So far, so good, right? He then grabs an angel shaped cookie cutter, presses it into a corpsified family member's back and makes cookies out of her skin. Huh? Wouldn't it just be like really thin steak? I don't think a cookie can contain any form of flesh can it? (I know this trailer doesn't mention them being cookies, but I had seen another trailer where this is mentioned.) He's a cannibal now? Was he just really curious?

And as I'd feared Billy's voice just isn't all that scary. Not as bad as that dorky-ass Scream voice, but it failed to give me the willies. He's even borderline Freddy-sounding during his "You're my family now" quip at the end. I pray he doesn't zing anyone when he offs them. So far, I'm gonna say the only good points I've come up with are 1)that image at the end of the trailer is pretty cool and 2) the girls are all rather attractive. That's it. It looks more like a lackluster sequel much more than a remake. Worst of all; No Saxon.


Shane the Pain said...

We've Got Bush, Phelpster!

This is the guy that requested the Bone Symphony song and i've had it on constant loop ever since i snagged it! It's driven me so crazy in fact that i just had to sit down and watch the movie simply for that part. Now i know you said it wouldn't right to post the whole soundtrack. Well i got two words for that "AW, COME ON MAN!! DO IT ANYWAY!", no, i'm just kidding ...OR AM I! Well, you know, if you wanted to sneak it in the comments section or something you know you know that would be fine... Or you know, release a different song every few days or so, like Rubinoos "Revenge Of The Nerds" or "Are you ready for the sex girls" or something that would probably allude everyone. Yeah, Yeah, that's the ticket. You're probably thinking "Shell out 9 bucks and get a used ebay copy ya cheapskate jerk." Well i'll trade you a high quality rip of Jim Varney singing "Gee, I'm Glad It's Rainin'" from Ernest Goes To Camp. How's that grab ya? Dice? No dice?

The Fiji Mermaid said...

this trailer looks pretty bad.. I hate this whole remake craze!

phelpster said...

shane - hey, I'm heading out now, but I can probably upload the whole thing and hide it on here somewhere later on tonight or tomorrow after work. I don't really have a problem sharing stuff that's out there, just people will yell at you if you do. I had the Fistful of Dollars soundtrack, which is only available as an import on Amazon for like $40, I posted that and within a day it was requested to be taken down.

I figure uploading a CD isn't much different from selling a CD on eBay. What I mean is either way the people who put out the CD, the artists or the label, are no longer benefitting from it, whether it's someone giving it away on a blog or selling it used online. But noone seems cares about sellers.

Shane said...

Hey brother, that would be great! Of course i'm at your mercy on this thing and i'm glad to get whatever i can! Good philosophy, too. I feel the same way. If you'd like to see some of my own handiwork you can go to
and snatch the never released score to 1984's Bachelor Party which I isolated from the DVD. It's not my website. I just sent it in as a huge fan of the movie. I'm not yet Rapidshare savvy but my email is if you'd prefer to trade things this way. I'll juice ya up!

Mr Shrubber said...

OK, so what have we got here? Exhibit A: Billy gets a backstory/motive. Not good. He was scary in the original precisely because he didn't have one. Exhibit B: The silly Scream-lite voice - oh brother. Finally, exhibit C: That final image. What, he's some kind of supernatural wall-crawler in his jimjams now? This is going to suck on so many levels. Nice shot of the eye under the bathroom floor, though.

phelpster said...

Yeah, I'm thinking this will be total balls the more I see of it. It turns out several scenes in the trailer aren't even in the movie. It's not like the traditional "Cut the trailer before we're done so some deleted scenes stay in the trailer and not in the movie" routine. They filmed extra scenes specifically for the trailer that have nothing to do with anything. Like the eye peeking through the floor, that's not even a scene. Come on! That's just evil. Isn't that like a bait and switch kinda thing? I'm gonna sue.

Anonymous said...

The movie was terribly bad. Soo many things the characters did wrong in the movie it was unbelievable. And to top it off, it was just gross. No flavor or style at all.


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