Monday, December 14, 2009

Robot Sleeperhold Or: Who The Fuck Is Parson Brown? - A Christmas Album

Christmas music sucks. Oh, I'm sure most people out there would disagree with me. I'm sure there are people out there right now, genuinely enjoying the overwhelming onslaught of nauseating yuletide melodies pummeling them over the head during every waking moment between October 26th and December 25th.

Not me. Christmas music doesn't fill me with joy. It fills me with dread. Dread, coupled with the desire to hit someone in the skull with a stool. Or a toilet lid. Or a blender. Or any kind of household property I might be able to lift and swing towards someone, really.

So I've putting together my own demented brand of Christmas compilation featuring some Christmas hits, some Christmas misses and even a few tracks that have nothing to do with Christmas, but do have the word Christmas in the title. This album is for those of you who feel that hearing Blue Christmas one more time - just once - just might be the thing that finally sends you over the edge.

I call it Robot Sleeperhold Or: Who The Fuck is Parson Brown? Because seriously, who is Parson Brown?

I went a little overboard here, there's about 30 songs total and it clocks in at around 1:49:42. Grab this one while you can, it might not stay up too long.
  1. King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
  2. Count Floyd & The Pink Floyds - Reggae Christmas Eve in Transylvania
  3. Shonen Knife - Space Christmas
  4. Halford - What Child Is This
  5. Bootsy Collins - Dis Christmiss
  6. August Burns Red - Carol of the Bells
  7. Bobby 'Boris' Pickett - Monster's Holiday
  8. Wham! - Last Christmas
  9. Jet Boys - Merry Christmas, Fuck You
  10. Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis
  11. Los Straitjackets - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
  12. Manic Street Preachers - Christmas Ghost
  13. Greg Lake (minus Emerson or Palmer) - I Believe In Father Christmas
  14. Mojo Nixon - Christmas Christmas
  15. The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight)
  16. Pretty Maids - In Santa's Claws
  17. Joel Robinson, Thomas Servo, Crow "Theodore" Robot & The Satellite of Love Orchestra - (Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas
  18. The Raveonettes - The Christmas Song
  19. Spinal Tap - Christmas With The Devil
  20. Mogwai - Christmas Song
  21. London After Midnight - The Christmas Song
  22. Chinese Kids Choir - Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
  23. Wizzard featuring vocal backing by The Suedettes plus The Stockland Green Bilateral School First Year Choir with additional noises by Miss Snob & Class 3C - I Wish it Could Be Christmas Everyday
  24. Gregorian - In The Bleak Midwinter
  25. Universal Robot Band - Disco Christmas
  26. Tankard - Fuck Christmas
  27. Monty Python - Christmas in Heaven
  28. Tom Waits - Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis
  29. Ryuichi Sakamoto - Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence
  30. Type O Negative - Red Water (Christmas Mourning)
Note: I know it kinda looks like it says I Robot Sleeperhold. It doesn't. Sorry for any confussion.


senski said...

Love the use of Creepy #86 - I'm posting about that cover later this week at The Jar...

Anonymous said...

This is great! Thanks so much!

Anonymous said...

This is a great xXxmas comp. By the way, have you heard the new Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew xXxmas tune?

Dread Desmond said...


This is some great shit! I'll be plucking a couple of tunes for this week's Dread Media and sending the listeners your way, my friend.

Thank you.

CruZControL said...

I couldn't agree more with your christmas spirit statement. Thank you, nice compilation - though you did include 'last christmas' and that does not take away my desire to hit someone's skull with a stool...!

Dread Desmond said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
phelpster said...

Cruz - Sorry about the Wham! When I first started on this I was just grabbing any odd Christmas song I could find, then picking what I liked for the compilation. I sort of forgot several of these were on here before I actually posted it.


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