The Nude Vampire
(1970) - La vampire nue
(original title)
The Rape of the Vampire (1968) - Le viol du vampire (original title) |
Strange Things Happen at Night (1971) - Le frisson des vampires (original title)
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Druillet does Rollin
This is a set of gorgeous posters by French artist Philippe Druillet for Jean Rollin films La vampire nue, Le viol du vampire and Le frisson des vampires.
Stitches - You'll Die Laughing
Director: Conor McMahon
Writer: Conor McMahon, David O'Brien
Stars: Tommy Knight, Gemma-Leah Devereux, Ross Noble, Valeri Spelman
Runtime: 86 Minutes
Rated: R for Ice Cream Scoop Neurosurgery, High Heel Tracheotomy, Clown Shoes
Runtime: 86 Minutes
Rated: R for Ice Cream Scoop Neurosurgery, High Heel Tracheotomy, Clown Shoes
Stitches marks the film debut of English comedian Ross Noble. Noble plays professional clown Richard “Stitches” Grindle - about the worst fucking clown you'll ever see. He arrives to entertain children at a boy named Tom's birthday party. Stitches is my favorite type of clown, the type of clown who always looks forlorn, like he's just moments away from blowing his brains out. He's as unenthusiastic about performing his tricks as the kids are about watching him. Throughout his performance the kids are mean and disinterested, they throw things at him, one of the girls gives him the finger. These kids, like most kids would be during a terrible clown act, are basically total douchebags the whole time. During a trick, one of the kids named Vinny sneaks behind Stitches and ties his shoelaces together. Tom takes a soccer ball and hits Stiches in the face sending him tumbling backwards. He trips and falls face first onto a huge butcher knife that was left blade up in the dishwasher for some reason.
After his death we learn there is some kind of strange voodoo clown council, led by a Paul Giamatti looking guy. They meet in an old mausoleum and perform some goofy ritual involving painted eggs. Tom witnesses this ritual and the clown cabal warns Tom that a clown that doesn't finish a party can never rest in peace.
Six years later, Tom is still haunted by the incindent. He sees visions of clowns roaming the hallways at school. He even daydreams of a clown dis-membering Vinny during science class. Tom's 16th birthday is fast approaching and he decides, fuck that clown council noise, I'm having a party. The party goes pretty well at first, but before long Stitches the clown returns from the grave to exact his revenge on Tom and his friends.
That's really all there is for the set up. Very basic The Burning style slasher motive, prank goes wrong, the prankee seeks revenge. I'm normally not big on clown horror. I've never really found clowns frightening, and I don't like the look of them, so I've never really liked them as horror villains. However, here it actually works quite well. Director Conor McMahon (Dead Meat, 2004) has filled his film with some truly striking imagery and inventive murder scenes. This thing gets quite gory, and the best part, aside from an umbrella through the skull bit and an eye socket knifing most of the gore seems to be practical effects, including some brain scooping, intestinal balloon dogs, and a truly hilarious exploding head effect.
While not every effect quite works and some jokes don't quite land (and don't get me started on the absurdity of the clown council stuff) I found this to be a very entertaining way to kill 86 minutes. Slasher fans, check it out. 7/10.
Things to watch for:
Girl on girl headbutt
Strawberry Pie Filling Overdose
World's first slasher with gag reel over the end credits
I didn't catch her name, but this chick:
April Fools' Day screenings in select cities on April 1, 2013. For fans who can't catch the rampage on the big screen, STITCHES will be available on VOD, Digital Download, Blu-ray and DVD on April 2 from MPI /Dark Sky Films.
Sexcula
Sexcula [DVD]
Director: Bob Hollowich
Starring: Debbie Collins, Jamie Orlando, John Alexander, Tim Lowery
Run Time: 86 minutes
Release Date: April 9, 2013
Language: English
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 Full-Frame Presentation
Format: DVD
Region: All Regions
Price: $24.95
Synopsis
“Those Evil Deeds of the Countess…SEXCULA!”SEXCULA is a skin flick of legendary lost status. Shot in Vancouver, British Columbia, it was screened once before disappearing and sought after by cult aficionados for decades. Now, Impulse Pictures is proud to bring you the world premiere of SEXCULA. Sex film fans can finally get a look at this elusive crazy Canadian erotic/horror hybrid for the first time ever.
Starring a Marilyn Chambers lookalike in dual roles as Countess Sexcula, a buxom cutie with no qualms about lying nude on a table for the entire movie, and a horny bride who can’t wait for her ring. The nudity and sex are delivered nonstop in this campy horror romp. Watch in amazement at the naked picnic, the “girl-on-gorilla” strip tease, and stare in awe as a female pleasure-robot puts the plot into a time warp!
Bizarre only begins to describe… SEXCULA!
Features
- Digital (1.33:1) Transfer from the ONLY Remaining Theatrical Print Stored in the Basement of the Canadian Film Archives
- Original Theatrical Trailer
- Liner Notes from Porn Archaeologist Dimitrios Otis
Tokyo Species - Like Species, but Japaneseir
Director: Nozomu Kasagi
Stars: Maria Ozawa , Tomonori Kôno, Marika Minam,
Runtime: 70 Minutes
Rated: R for Death by Copulation, Nudity, and uh, Egg....Pooping?
Today I tried something I have never done before. I've just watched an un-subtitled Japanese movie. No big deal for Japanese speaking individuals, however I do not speak Japanese. I can say "thank you" and I think I used to know how to say love or hello. That's it. I was sucked in by the awesome poster art, but when I sat down to watch it, oops, no subtitles. But I still wanted to see it, so I powered through and tried to just figure it out on my own. Luckily the plot of this was pretty straight forward, so it wasn't too difficult to follow.
As you can guess from the title, this is sort of Japan's take on Species. Only with 1/100th the budget and 2/3rds of the running time. Tokyo Species stars renowned Japanese/French Canadian adult star Maria Ozawa. I think her character might be called Michiko, but even the IMDB listing doesn't list character names, so since I'm not 100% sure, I will refer to her as Maria.
The movie opens with a close-up of Maria in a schoolgirl outfit. Maria Ozawa is like 27 years old, how long do Japanese people go to school? Anyway she climbs over a rail on a bridge and jumps to her death. We never actually find out why she does this as her character does not speak one time throughout the entire movie. A moment later her bloodied body washes ashore. The camera circles around the body for and after a minute or so the view changes to a alien creature POV shot. This alien is a bit of a perv because it stops to look up her skirt for a minute before moving onto her face where it then enters her mouth. This sounds pretty pornographic, it's not.
Later, on the way to school she is bullied by some girls, because as we all know beautiful girls are constantly bullied. After school she brings a random guy home, and like in Species she starts to have sex with the guy only to kill him halfway through by impaling him with a spine-y tentacle that shoots out of her arm. So Maria starts sex murdering dudes left and right all through town. At this point it would seem that Maria is trying to wipe out the whole male portion of Japan with her sexiness. She's actually using these guys to impregnate herself so she can give birth to her alien spawn. At least, that explains the sex part. I actually have no idea why she's killing everybody.
After missing class the next day- probably due to her busy schedule of sex murdering - Maria's friend from school goes to her house to check up on her. What she doesn't know is a mysterious new student has followed her there. The new student turns out be an alien hunter (with some pretty lousy aim) and she knows that a sex alien has inhabited Maria's body, and she has a weapon that can stop it. Maria is able to escape the alien hunter's attack, now she has to track her down before she kills again.
This is director Nozomu Kasagi's first feature. Although
clocking in at 66 minutes before the end credits this really just feels
like an extended tv show episode. Actually, if Japan has a Sci-Fi channel, this seems like what they would show. There is a bit of nudity, though not as much as you'd think a movie with a porn star for a lead actress would have. There are a lot of deaths, but the death scenes mostly consist of quick CGI impalements with a bit of blood splatter.
It's a decent movie, but with such a short running time there just really isn't much to it to sink your teeth into. Recommended probably only to people who absolutely have to see every Japanese horror and sci-fi movie that comes out. I think most anybody else would find it on the dull side. Still, that cover art is awesome.
It's a decent movie, but with such a short running time there just really isn't much to it to sink your teeth into. Recommended probably only to people who absolutely have to see every Japanese horror and sci-fi movie that comes out. I think most anybody else would find it on the dull side. Still, that cover art is awesome.
I have to say, watching a foreign movie without the help of subtitles is hard. I'm so used to subtitles that I lost count of the number of times my eyes shot to the bottom of the screen to read the subtitles that weren't there.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
The Wizard of Gore - In Devastating Color
The Wizard of Gore
"Me a ghoul? You're the one who wanted to see pictures of human ravioli for dessert."
Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Writer:Allen Kahn
Stars: Ray Sager, Judy Cler, Wayne Ratay
Runtime: 140 Minutes
Rated: NR for Chainsaw Evisceration, 1 Head in a Wicker Basket, Forceful Sword Swallowing, HypnoVision
Sherry, being blown away by Montag's performance wants him to appear on her show. At first he refuses, but after realizing he could hypnotize the entire Housewives Coffee Break over the air he agrees. So over the next several nights Jack and Sherry see Montag's show, and every volunteer from each show turns up dead by the same method used in the show. One girl has a large spike driven through her skull and has her brains removed. Another has a punch press rip through her torso.
Jack and Sherry become involved with the police to try and figure out just what the hell is going on with Montag the Magnificent and his deranged brand of magic.
The Wizard of Gore is leisurely paced and about 15-20 minutes too long. At about the hour mark I checked the time and was stunned to see another 40 minutes left in the running time. It's longer than I'm used with H.G. Lewis movies, I think it just caught me off guard. Although I think A Taste of Blood is a full 2 hours, so Wizard isn't his longest.
It's pretty talky, especially when Sager is onscreen. He really seemed to be having a great time hamming it up while wearing a cape and playing with ladies' guts.
"Me a ghoul? You're the one who wanted to see pictures of human ravioli for dessert."
Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Writer:Allen Kahn
Stars: Ray Sager, Judy Cler, Wayne Ratay
Runtime: 140 Minutes
Rated: NR for Chainsaw Evisceration, 1 Head in a Wicker Basket, Forceful Sword Swallowing, HypnoVision
Sherry Carson is the host of the Housewives Coffee Break on NBC 17. She and her sports writer boyfriend Jack attend a magic show featuring Montag the Magnificent (played by Lewis regular Ray Sager). Montag is a very theatrical, intense weirdo, complete with top hat and cape. Classic weirdo. He spouts a lengthy monologue about dreams and reality, not unlike the kind of talk you might hear from a bunch of stoned hippies around a camp fire late at night. I hate to be negative right away, but I have to say this monologue was pretty long and repetitive. In fact I may have dozed off had Montag not kept shouting his lines.
After this monologue, and a pretty neat self-guillotine trick, he uses hypnosis to get a female volunteer from the audience for the classic sawing a woman in half bit. Montag does this trick a little differently. Instead of putting the woman in a box and using a hacksaw, he does it out in the open, on a table, with a chainsaw. He cuts the woman's stomach open and she lets out a blood curdling scream and dies on the table. Montag starts riffling through her guts like he's dropped his keys in there. After a classic 30 second H.G. lingering gore shot the next second the woman is perfectly fine. Her dress and stomach are completely un-chainsawed. The crowd goes wild... for about 10 seconds, then everyone just stands up, and quietly leaves without anyone saying anything. It's an awkward way to end a show.
Shortly after the show the female volunteer goes to a restaurant, and before she even gets her drink order in she drops dead in the middle of the room with the exact same gaping chainsaw wound from the show.
After this monologue, and a pretty neat self-guillotine trick, he uses hypnosis to get a female volunteer from the audience for the classic sawing a woman in half bit. Montag does this trick a little differently. Instead of putting the woman in a box and using a hacksaw, he does it out in the open, on a table, with a chainsaw. He cuts the woman's stomach open and she lets out a blood curdling scream and dies on the table. Montag starts riffling through her guts like he's dropped his keys in there. After a classic 30 second H.G. lingering gore shot the next second the woman is perfectly fine. Her dress and stomach are completely un-chainsawed. The crowd goes wild... for about 10 seconds, then everyone just stands up, and quietly leaves without anyone saying anything. It's an awkward way to end a show.
Shortly after the show the female volunteer goes to a restaurant, and before she even gets her drink order in she drops dead in the middle of the room with the exact same gaping chainsaw wound from the show.
Sherry, being blown away by Montag's performance wants him to appear on her show. At first he refuses, but after realizing he could hypnotize the entire Housewives Coffee Break over the air he agrees. So over the next several nights Jack and Sherry see Montag's show, and every volunteer from each show turns up dead by the same method used in the show. One girl has a large spike driven through her skull and has her brains removed. Another has a punch press rip through her torso.
Jack and Sherry become involved with the police to try and figure out just what the hell is going on with Montag the Magnificent and his deranged brand of magic.
The Wizard of Gore is leisurely paced and about 15-20 minutes too long. At about the hour mark I checked the time and was stunned to see another 40 minutes left in the running time. It's longer than I'm used with H.G. Lewis movies, I think it just caught me off guard. Although I think A Taste of Blood is a full 2 hours, so Wizard isn't his longest.
It's pretty talky, especially when Sager is onscreen. He really seemed to be having a great time hamming it up while wearing a cape and playing with ladies' guts.
The movie does deliver the gore. Once we get beyond one of the all-time worst fake heads the world has ever seen, the gore is graphic and lingering. It's even almost a bit sickening at times. In addition to the gore, Wizard also rewards patience viewers with an amazing and absurd final 10 minutes. You'll be confused as hell, but it's still pretty awesome.
Overall I enjoyed it, though out of the 6 Lewis movies I've seen (this,
Blood Feast, 2,000 Maniacs, Color Me Blood Red, Something Weird and
Blood Feast 2) I'd probably rank this my 5th favorite right before Blood
Feast 2.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Bad news for fans of Cinematic Titanic:
"Dear Friends,
As we have been adding dates to our live show schedule for 2013,
we have come to the decision that this will be our last year actively
touring as Cinematic Titanic. We feel that with any project there is a
time to move on and as 5 people living in 5 different cities with
different lives and projects, it has become increasingly difficult to
coordinate our schedules and give Cinematic Titanic the attention it
requires to keep growing as a creative enterprise and a business. As a
result, we have decided to take this indefinite hiatus.
The last 5+ years have been an amazing opportunity for us all to reconnect creatively with one another and more importantly to connect with the fans of MST3K and new fans of Cinematic Titanic. We've had the great pleasure of playing some beautiful theaters around the country and have taken movie riffing to places we never dreamed, like ILM and Pixar, a sports arena, and even Broadway! The love we've been shown by those we've met and performed for will be with us forever.
We will be performing as many dates as is feasible this year and we hope you'll come out and see us go at it one last time if we come to a theater near you in 2013. We are still in discussions about the production of additional DVDs and we'll keep you posted.
We thank you deeply for all the support you've shown Cinematic Titanic over these years and we're looking forward to many great shows in the year ahead.
Cheers,
The CT Crew"
The last 5+ years have been an amazing opportunity for us all to reconnect creatively with one another and more importantly to connect with the fans of MST3K and new fans of Cinematic Titanic. We've had the great pleasure of playing some beautiful theaters around the country and have taken movie riffing to places we never dreamed, like ILM and Pixar, a sports arena, and even Broadway! The love we've been shown by those we've met and performed for will be with us forever.
We will be performing as many dates as is feasible this year and we hope you'll come out and see us go at it one last time if we come to a theater near you in 2013. We are still in discussions about the production of additional DVDs and we'll keep you posted.
We thank you deeply for all the support you've shown Cinematic Titanic over these years and we're looking forward to many great shows in the year ahead.
Cheers,
The CT Crew"
Sad to hear, hopefully this hiatus doesn't last forever. That said, many of the CineTit DVDs are available on sale at Amazon for $10.99. You can also get the last of the Blood of the Vampires DVDs for $5.99 from the official Cinematic Titanic site.
Phelpster's Custom Covers - Teen Wolf Too
I'm not designing covers as much as I used to but here's one I whipped up for the second best Teen Wolf movie, Teen Wolf Too. The image of Todd is a little blurry - that's one spastic werewolf, he never stops movinig - but I'm pretty happy with the way this one came out. This was fairly time consuming because I did all this from scratch, minus the NCAA and Tuf-Wear logos.
True story - in Virginia there's a video store called Dollar Video. The same guy owns another video store a couple of miles away called Dollar Video, Too.
True story - in Virginia there's a video store called Dollar Video. The same guy owns another video store a couple of miles away called Dollar Video, Too.
As you can see from the last bunch of posts, I'm taking this site in a different direction. I still plan to post old posters and cool shit like that, but I'm going to be doing reviews of some of the obscure horror stuff I watch, some DVD/Blu-Ray stuff too like the upcoming Vinegar Syndrome and Shout Factory releases. However, the file sharing is pretty much done for (except maybe an occasional compilation, sorry to the guy who really wanted a Halloween comp this past year, I screwed the pooch on that one). With sharing being harder these days with the rapid deleting of files, plus a good 90% of my links dead anyway I figured it was time for a change.
Not sure if I should mention this, but the main thing that killed this site for the last couple of years was me being threatened to be sued. My job mostly consists of listening to death metal while assmebling grills and patio furniture, not exactly raking in the kind of dough to afford to be sued. I'm not mentioning the soundtrack that got me in trouble but I definitely thought "Wow, this is the one that somebody freaks out on me for?"
I'm working on bettering my writing. I went through most of my old posts, and yikes, I wrote some okay stuff, but I wrote some truly amateur hour crap in the earlier posts. Some of that stuff was written like English wasn't my first language. I'm also working on lowering my typo count. I still haven't mastered laptop typing, reading through some old posts the typo count was staggering. Anyway, just wanted to mention this to anyone still checking this site out.
Not sure if I should mention this, but the main thing that killed this site for the last couple of years was me being threatened to be sued. My job mostly consists of listening to death metal while assmebling grills and patio furniture, not exactly raking in the kind of dough to afford to be sued. I'm not mentioning the soundtrack that got me in trouble but I definitely thought "Wow, this is the one that somebody freaks out on me for?"
I'm working on bettering my writing. I went through most of my old posts, and yikes, I wrote some okay stuff, but I wrote some truly amateur hour crap in the earlier posts. Some of that stuff was written like English wasn't my first language. I'm also working on lowering my typo count. I still haven't mastered laptop typing, reading through some old posts the typo count was staggering. Anyway, just wanted to mention this to anyone still checking this site out.
The Geek (Backwoods) - 1987
The Geek
A secret hidden by time that will reap its horrible revenge.
Director: Dean Crow
Writers: Dean Crow, Charles Joseph
Starring: Jack O'Hara, Dick Kreusser, Brad Armacot
Music: Skeet Bushor!
Rated: R for Wanton Chicken Decapitation, Gratuitous Stupidity
Today, I'll be reviewing the 1987 backwood thriller The Geek (also known as Backwoods) This is one of at least 3 movies I own called Backwoods. Before I begin, enjoy the incredibly thorough IMDB plot description - A hillbilly father and his idiot son terrorize and murder campers.
Not only is that really brief, it's not even accurate. I'll be a bit more thorough.
Karen, outgoing, nature loving girl takes her med student boyfriend Jamie to the woods for a couple of days of hiking action. They head into the woods and make a quick stop at the Ranger Station. Now for some reason they tell the Ranger they're siblings, but ten minutes later, they're
getting nude in a tent, right away I have no idea what is going on with
these two. Why would you tell a someone your boyfriend was your brother? Before they leave they get a stern warning from the Ranger to stay out of the uncharted part of the woods, so Karen and Jamie promptly head straight into the Certain Doom Woods.
So we watch twenty minutes or so of footage of these two hiking. I've never gone hiking, but from what I gather, hiking seems to consist of two parts. 1) Walking. 2)Making a tent. So they walk for a while, and they make a tent. This apparently takes an amazing amount of time because once the tent is up, it's dark. How far did these fuckers walk? So, they eat, partake in some fornication, and get some sleep while the camera outside the tent lets us know, someone is watching.
The next day they are waken up by the sound of a gunshot. Outside, about 50 clicks (that's a hiking term, right?) North East of the tent stands a overall clad man, shotgun in hand, towering over a little girl laying on the ground. The girl, we find out is Beth, the daughter of Eben aka the man in the overalls. Her neck has been mauled by something...or someone (gasp!) and the shot was fired to scare whatever....or whoever (gasp!) away.
It's around this point humans in this movie start saying and doing some really stupid things.
Jamie starts to treat the girls neck gash, and for no apparent reason Eben cocks the gun and presses it against his head. Then, also for no apparent reason, he lowers the gun, and offers them food as thanks for helping his daughter. Despite the fact this man just kind of threatened to kill him with a large gun, Karen is able to convince Jamie to follow Eben to his house.
They eat, and share stories and moonshine with the odd and offputting Eben. Night falls, but instead of getting the hell out of there the second Eben passes out, they stick around until the next day. Not sure why, maybe to make sure Beth doesn't die, I guess. While Jamie and Eben take care of Beth, Karen heads to the lake for a bath. As is the case most of the time a woman bathes in a lake in the middle of the woods, she's soon being chased half naked by a retarded drooling guy. She runs to Jamie, and Eben smashes The Drooler in the mouth, ending his pursuit. As you can guess from the plot description this goon is actually Eben's son William, the Geek. They don't specifically mention what is wrong with William, but he doesn't speak and he really enjoys decapitating chickens with his teeth.
Per a drunken agreement made the night before, Jamie and Eben go coon hunting. You'd think going hunting with a bi-polar drunk and leaving your attractive, frequently topless, compassionate girlfriend near a deranged, violent simpleton who lives in a shack 200 feet from the house would be on the bottom of this guy's list of things to do. Nope.
While the men are off hunting Karen plays with Beth for a while and for some bizarre reason decides to take William some flowers. It's sweet of her to feel bad for the guy for being retarded and all, but this plan almost immediately backfires when William attacks her. Again. He attacks her because the man is a geek, he enjoys killing chickens with his teeth, what did this dingbat think was going to happen? Karen is able to get away, but soon after this attack The Geek goes apeshit, starts stalking and eventually attempting to kill her. Again. She manages to escape into the woods, now she must outrun William before he ends her life.
While the men are off hunting Karen plays with Beth for a while and for some bizarre reason decides to take William some flowers. It's sweet of her to feel bad for the guy for being retarded and all, but this plan almost immediately backfires when William attacks her. Again. He attacks her because the man is a geek, he enjoys killing chickens with his teeth, what did this dingbat think was going to happen? Karen is able to get away, but soon after this attack The Geek goes apeshit, starts stalking and eventually attempting to kill her. Again. She manages to escape into the woods, now she must outrun William before he ends her life.
Spoiler Alert -
The rest of the movie is pretty much her running through the woods and eventually fighting back. I loved that when it came time Karen killed this guy and made sure he was dead. One of my horror pet peeves is the person who obtains a weapon, hits the murderer with it one time, and bolts. Some disgruntled maniac killed everyone you know with an axe, so you hit him one time with a stick and run away - what the hell is that? Not this chick, after trapping him with a MacGuyverian net made of fishing line and hooks she savagely beats him Heavenly Creatures style with a large rock in a sock, then for good measure she jams a lit road flair down The Geek's throat. This fucker is done for.
End Spoiler Alert
Anyway, this one is pretty slow moving, with a low body count - unless you count the chickens. If you do, this movie is a bloodbath. There's not a lot of action, but the acting better than you usually find in these kind of movies, even if the characters still make the same borderline retarded decisions we are used to. If you can handle the leisurely pace of the first hour, the finale is actually pretty tense and exciting. I'll go 6/10 on this one. It's no Just Before Dawn, but it's not quite Don't Go In The Woods.
The Massage Parlor Murders Blu-Ray/DVD Combo Coming 4/9
A vicious serial killer is stalking the streets of New York City, murdering Times Square massage girls in a variety of brutal ways. It’s up to a rogue detective team to solve the case as the body count continues to rise! Chock full of over the top sex and violence and complete with a high speed car chase through Manhattan, MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS is an exploitation film lover’s dream movie. Featuring performances from Sandra Peabody (Last House on the Left), Chris Jordan (Deep Throat 2), Brother Theodore (The ‘Burbs), and George Dzundza (The Deer Hunter) in one of his earliest appearances!
Directors: Chester Fox & Alex Stevens
1972 / Color / 80 minutes / 1.85:1
Features Include:
+ Blu-Ray/DVD Combo Pack | Region Free | 1.85:1 AR | MONO
+ Restored in 2K from original camera negative
+ Original theatrical trailer + alternate MASSAGE PARLOR HOOKERS trailer
+ Rare outtakes
+ Special edition lab card
+ Extensive historical liner notes
There will also be a limited poster run which I'm very excited about since I think the cover art is really amazing. This one isn't quite ready for preorder just yet, but I add a link as soon as it's available.
Vinegar Syndrome's Drive-In Collection coming March 12th
We are just a few weeks away from a couple of my most anticipated releases of the year, Vinegar Syndrome's new Drive-In Collection line.
Two grimy, low-rent, regional sleaze-fests guaranteed to leave even the most jaded genre film fans scratching their heads in disbelief.
SAVAGE WATER (1979)
Regional horror filmmaking at its most bare-bones, Paul Kener’s Utah lensed proto-giallo is a schizoid blend of big budget home movie and ultra cheap sleaze.
Director: Paul Kener
95 minutes / Color / AR: 1.85:1
DEATH BY INVITATION (1971)
One of producer Leonard Kirtman’s odd ventures into horror filmmaking, ‘Death’ is an effectively gritty tale of 20th century witchery topped off with a pleasant touch of psychedelia.
Director: Ken Friedman
81 minutes / Color / AR: 1.85:1
Features Include:
+ Dual Layer DVD-9 | Region Free | 16:9 Anamorphic | 1.85:1 AR | MONO
+ 2k scan from 35mm theatrical prints
+ Two commentary tracks by: The Hysteria Continues
This was a release I was already excited for but the holy shit factor is through the roof knowing about the two Hysteria Continues commentaries. If you've got a couple hundred hours to kill, check out some of their podcasts. You can preorder now directly from Vinegar Syndrome.
Two forgotten B-pictures from one of the X rated film world’s most talented auteurs, Anthony Spinelli, presented from film sourced transfers for the very first time!
EXPECTATIONS (1977)
Two women, one a wealthy socialite and the other a swinger, decide to swap lives. However as the novelty wears off, they become slaves to each other’s misery.
Director: Anthony Spinelli
70 minutes / Color / AR: 1.85:1
CONFESSIONS (1977)
A bored, upscale housewife decides to dabble in the world of anonymous sex and prostitution but quickly learns the unfortunately reality of such a lifestyle.
Director: Anthony Spinelli
68 minutes / Color / AR: 1.85:1
Features Include:
+ Dual Layer DVD-9 | Region Free | 16:9 Anamorphic | 1.85:1 AR | MONO
+ 2k scan from 35mm theatrical prints
You can preorder now directly from Vinegar Syndrome.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Beetlejuice - The Complete Animated Series
I'll pass on this release myself (too many unwatched Hanna Barbara cartoon sets in my collection) but I have to say these Shout! guys are kicking a gargantuan amount of ass with all of these TV series sets. I never thought I'd own complete sets of the Norm Show and Get A Life. And lets not forget their work on the Mystery Science Theater sets.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Frankenhooker - Now A Major Motion Picture Review
I'm trying to start doing a lot more movie reviews here, focus less on music since it's become a bit of a pain lately keeping track of everything.
Jeffrey Franken - full-time mook and electric company worker, part-time mad scientist and inventor. Elizabeth Shelley - Jeff's "portly" girlfriend, occupation...not mentioned. Referred to as fat numerous times, despite not being fat.
Like Wayne Szalinski in Honey I Shrunk The Kids, Jeff has created a remote control lawn mower as a gift for Elizabeth's father. Unlike Wayne, Jeff's lawn mower kinda, sorta runs over and dismembers his overweight girlfriend. However, despite being chunked to death by a bitchin' remote control lawn mower*, Elizabeth's head remains completely un-mangled. Jeff is able to procure her unscathed cranium without police knowing about it. If he can find a female body without a head, he should be in business.
So after a montage of Jeff making a Frankenhooker blueprint while muttering to himself he heads into an even seedier looking than usual 1990's Jersey City. With a wad of money and the help of a body-building pimp named Zorro Jeff is able to spend an hour with several of Zorro's best girls (I'd hate to see this guy's worst girls). Jeff's plan is to find the girl whose body has the least amount of gross moles and cigarette burns, kidnap her, lop her head off, screw Elizabeth's on and zap her ass back to life.
On his venture to the city Jeff has brought with him another of his creations, a super powered form of crack called...Super Crack. A crack so super it makes things explode. This guy only seems to invent terrifying, terrifying things. If there is such a thing as an inventing license, this man's should be revoke at once. Upon discovering the Super Crack in Jeff's bag, the ladies of the night go bananas, kick Jeff's ass and smoke up. 30 seconds later, in a hysterical scene that rivals the peeping scene from Animal House, the hookers all go tits up and explode. Of course, since the budget is on the low side, the exploding bodies are represented by various mannequin body parts which are sent flying around the room. A leg destroys a lamp, a butt cheek bounces off the walls, a flying head knocks Zorro unconscious.
So instead of one dead hooker body, Jeff ends up with bags full of parts. (Except torsos, where the hell does he end up getting a torso?) After sorting through the parts and picking out the most symmetrical knockers and filing bunions off of the least smelly feet Jeffrey sews a body together, slaps an Elizabeth head on this strewn together monstrosity, and success! Resurrection!
For some reason, despite having her own brain, Liz promptly adopts some very hooker-like mannerisms. She immediately knocks Jeff out, heads to the city and starts aggressively offering up dates to short, fat business men. Jeff must track her down before she can commit any sex murders.
Not Frank Henenlotter's best, but I adore this movie. James Lorinz's deadpan performance as Jeffrey really makes the movie for me. As good as he is, I also have to give Patty Mullen credit, her performance as Frankenhooker is great as well. This chick makes some of the goofiest faces you will ever see. I'm talking beyond Jim Carrey in Rubberface goofy, it's amazing. Despite what you would assume, this really isn't a very gory movie. Sure there are body parts everywhere but not much blood and guts, I actually consider this movie to be almost a romantic comedy. Make sure your date has a weird sense of humor first though.
I have been a fan of this movie since the early 90's, staying up late watching movies I wasn't old enough to be watching so I guess I have a bit of nostalgia for the movie, so I might be over-hyping it a bit. So first time viewers may need to lower their expectations but fans of stuff like Bride of Re-Animator, or any of Henenlotter's stuff, I think you'll find something to enjoy here.
I highly recommend the Synapse blu-ray.The transfer is stunning, and in addition, it's pretty loaded with features...
*If there are any lawn mower company executives reading this, fat people would pay handsomely for this technology.
Things to watch for:
The world's only severed head headbutt
Bunions
A platter of boobs
A trashcan filled with legs
Director: Frank Henenlotter
Writers: Frank Henenlotter, Robert Martin
Stars:James Lorinz, Patty Mullen, Joseph Gonzalez
Runtime:85 Minutes
Rated: R for Nudity, Lawn Mower Dismemberment, Graphic Bunion Extraction, Smoking
Writers: Frank Henenlotter, Robert Martin
Stars:James Lorinz, Patty Mullen, Joseph Gonzalez
Runtime:85 Minutes
Rated: R for Nudity, Lawn Mower Dismemberment, Graphic Bunion Extraction, Smoking
Like Wayne Szalinski in Honey I Shrunk The Kids, Jeff has created a remote control lawn mower as a gift for Elizabeth's father. Unlike Wayne, Jeff's lawn mower kinda, sorta runs over and dismembers his overweight girlfriend. However, despite being chunked to death by a bitchin' remote control lawn mower*, Elizabeth's head remains completely un-mangled. Jeff is able to procure her unscathed cranium without police knowing about it. If he can find a female body without a head, he should be in business.
So after a montage of Jeff making a Frankenhooker blueprint while muttering to himself he heads into an even seedier looking than usual 1990's Jersey City. With a wad of money and the help of a body-building pimp named Zorro Jeff is able to spend an hour with several of Zorro's best girls (I'd hate to see this guy's worst girls). Jeff's plan is to find the girl whose body has the least amount of gross moles and cigarette burns, kidnap her, lop her head off, screw Elizabeth's on and zap her ass back to life.
On his venture to the city Jeff has brought with him another of his creations, a super powered form of crack called...Super Crack. A crack so super it makes things explode. This guy only seems to invent terrifying, terrifying things. If there is such a thing as an inventing license, this man's should be revoke at once. Upon discovering the Super Crack in Jeff's bag, the ladies of the night go bananas, kick Jeff's ass and smoke up. 30 seconds later, in a hysterical scene that rivals the peeping scene from Animal House, the hookers all go tits up and explode. Of course, since the budget is on the low side, the exploding bodies are represented by various mannequin body parts which are sent flying around the room. A leg destroys a lamp, a butt cheek bounces off the walls, a flying head knocks Zorro unconscious.
So instead of one dead hooker body, Jeff ends up with bags full of parts. (Except torsos, where the hell does he end up getting a torso?) After sorting through the parts and picking out the most symmetrical knockers and filing bunions off of the least smelly feet Jeffrey sews a body together, slaps an Elizabeth head on this strewn together monstrosity, and success! Resurrection!
For some reason, despite having her own brain, Liz promptly adopts some very hooker-like mannerisms. She immediately knocks Jeff out, heads to the city and starts aggressively offering up dates to short, fat business men. Jeff must track her down before she can commit any sex murders.
Not Frank Henenlotter's best, but I adore this movie. James Lorinz's deadpan performance as Jeffrey really makes the movie for me. As good as he is, I also have to give Patty Mullen credit, her performance as Frankenhooker is great as well. This chick makes some of the goofiest faces you will ever see. I'm talking beyond Jim Carrey in Rubberface goofy, it's amazing. Despite what you would assume, this really isn't a very gory movie. Sure there are body parts everywhere but not much blood and guts, I actually consider this movie to be almost a romantic comedy. Make sure your date has a weird sense of humor first though.
I have been a fan of this movie since the early 90's, staying up late watching movies I wasn't old enough to be watching so I guess I have a bit of nostalgia for the movie, so I might be over-hyping it a bit. So first time viewers may need to lower their expectations but fans of stuff like Bride of Re-Animator, or any of Henenlotter's stuff, I think you'll find something to enjoy here.
I highly recommend the Synapse blu-ray.The transfer is stunning, and in addition, it's pretty loaded with features...
| Features: |
| Audio Commentary with Director Frank Henenlotter and Make-Up Effects Designer, Gabe Bartalos A Salad That Was Once Named Elizabeth - Patty Mullen Featurette A Stitch In Time: The Make-Up Effects Of Frankenhooker - Featurette Turning Tricks: Jennifer Delora Remembers Frankenhooker - Featurette Jennifer Delora's Frankenhooker Photo Scrapbook - Featurette Theatrical Trailer |
| Video: |
| Widescreen 1.78:1 Color |
| Screen Resolution: |
| 1080p |
| Audio: (more info) |
| ENGLISH: DTS-HD MA 5.1
ENGLISH: DTS-HD MA Stereo |
*If there are any lawn mower company executives reading this, fat people would pay handsomely for this technology.
Things to watch for:
The world's only severed head headbutt
Bunions
A platter of boobs
A trashcan filled with legs
Hilarious Album Cover of the Week
I've been known to frequent thrift stores for some time now. I work outdoors most of the time, so I like being able to get some pretty decent shirts for $1-$3 so I'm not spending actual money on clothes that I'll destroy at work. Every time I visit a thrift store I always make a point to look through the old records. I don't even own a turntable, yet I am compelled to flip through every single record because occasionally you find an album with a cover like this:
A cover that makes you say "What?!" out loud a little louder than you mean to, so that the people looking at the books right next to the records to stare at you for a moment before slowly backing away from the books. I can't be the only one who thinks this cover is creepy and bizarre, can I? A huge naked man, holding out a small naked like he's presenting it to a raffle winner at some kind of weird nudist swap meet. Seems odd to me. And where is his where is this guy's left thumb?
Anyway, I didn't buy the album, even though it was only a dollar. I went during my lunch break and I didn't think leaving a record in my hot ass car for a few hours would be a good idea. That, and the lack of a turntable.
But, I remembered when I got home, and I searched around and found it online. Apparently Slave was a pretty popular funk/disco/soul outfit active in Dayton, Ohio from 1977 up until 1996. I haven't heard their other stuff, but, despite the awkward album cover Just a Touch of Love is actually a pretty decent album.
Here's a thrift store record question, what's the deal with the records where the original owner felt the need to write their name in ball point pen on the album sleeve? Was there a rash of record theft in the 70's? Were people breaking into houses and stealing Dolly Parton and Speedwagon records and was writing your name on the records an effective theft deterrent?
Friday, December 07, 2012
Arsis - Lepers Caress
While trying to find out where to buy the new Arsis EP, I discovered Scion A/V Metal is offering it up to download for free. These guys are pretty awesome, I recommend everyone grab this now, I'm not sure how long it's going to be up for.
Click "Get it now" below, enter an email address (a real one) and they email the link to you. Took me about 8 seconds.
Click "Get it now" below, enter an email address (a real one) and they email the link to you. Took me about 8 seconds.
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
Double Dragon - Last Caress (Gore Glam)
The soundtrack on the other hand - 10 Stars! I love the music to this, it's just really quite awesome. Kind of a really synthy Goblin feel I think. Definitely one of my favorite musical discoveries of the past year. I believe this was only available with the limited edition (of 2000) DVD. Someone please release this album officially so I can give these Double Dragon guys some of my money.
I can't seem to find a tracklist for some reason, but there are 20 tracks, the standout for me is track 7. When listening to this album start with that one, and end with that one.
Link
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Amazon $3 Voucher for Free, $3 Amazon Soundtrack Sale
Amazon Local is offering a $3 MP3 voucher for the low, low cost of absolutely free. Follow this link, Amazon Local is just Amazon, so you'll have to sign into your Amazon account and you should be good to go.
If you're looking for something soundtrack-ey to blow your virtual $3 on allow me to point you towards Amazon's mini $3 soundtrack sale. Actually some good stuff there, I recommend the excellent Drive soundtrack.
Make it quick though, not sure how long the voucher will be available, or how long the soundtracks will be on sale.
If you're looking for something soundtrack-ey to blow your virtual $3 on allow me to point you towards Amazon's mini $3 soundtrack sale. Actually some good stuff there, I recommend the excellent Drive soundtrack.
Make it quick though, not sure how long the voucher will be available, or how long the soundtracks will be on sale.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Anthropophagic Cookbook - A Manchester Morgue Compilation
I haven't done a compilation on here in a while, so here's my latest. Actually, I did this one quite a while ago but for some reason I keep forgetting to post it. I call it Anthropophagic Cookbook. As far as I know, there are no audio cookbooks - even fewer dealing with the art of preparing human flesh for culinary purposes, so I know the title doesn't really make any sense. But like with all my compilations, logic is irrelevant if I think the title is funny. This has has a bit more specific of a theme than usual. Anthro Cookbook is filled with music about cannibalism. It's half scores from cannibalriffic films like Cannibal Holocaust or Ravenous, and half songs about cannibals, or cannibalizing, or learning to count using cannibals (that'll make sense after you listen to it).
I've tried to avoid just filling this with metal songs. I could've knocked this compilation out in about 14 minutes just by going through a couple Cannibal Corpse and Avulsed albums. I wanted a bit more of a challenge than that. There are a few metal songs from Blood Duster, Macabre and the mighty Exodus, but I think I've got a pretty good variety of other stuff to keep things interesting.
The image for the cover was taken from an old VHS cover from the truly horrible film Microwave Massacre. I remember seeing this cover in a video store when I was about 9 and it scared the hell out of me. For years I was afraid to watch it, completely unaware that it's actually a really low brow, low rent wacky horror comedy. What's funny is I think we actually rented Robocop that night, which is astonishingly violent and gruesome. Moreso than probably a hundred Microwave Massacres. Still, that image is pretty disturbing. Though I do wonder why he's cooking the lady's head with the hair still on, he'll never get that smell out of the microwave.
I've tried to avoid just filling this with metal songs. I could've knocked this compilation out in about 14 minutes just by going through a couple Cannibal Corpse and Avulsed albums. I wanted a bit more of a challenge than that. There are a few metal songs from Blood Duster, Macabre and the mighty Exodus, but I think I've got a pretty good variety of other stuff to keep things interesting.
The image for the cover was taken from an old VHS cover from the truly horrible film Microwave Massacre. I remember seeing this cover in a video store when I was about 9 and it scared the hell out of me. For years I was afraid to watch it, completely unaware that it's actually a really low brow, low rent wacky horror comedy. What's funny is I think we actually rented Robocop that night, which is astonishingly violent and gruesome. Moreso than probably a hundred Microwave Massacres. Still, that image is pretty disturbing. Though I do wonder why he's cooking the lady's head with the hair still on, he'll never get that smell out of the microwave.
- Angelo Badalamenti - Parents Theme (I think this might be called Meatloaf Mambo.)
- Toto Coelo - I Eat Cannibals
- Riz Ortolani - Crucified Woman (from Cannibal Holocaust)
- Thurl Ravenscroft & Cliff Edwards - The Cannibal Song - Crazy old counting song featuring Jiminy Cricket
- Macabre - The Wustenfeld Man Eater
- Damon Albarn & Michael Nyman - Let's Go Kill That Bastard (from Ravenous)
- Phil Ochs - The Ballad of Alfred Packer
- Budy Maglione - Into the Bush/Rudy and Gloria are Screwed (from Cannibal Ferox)
- Blood Duster - Dahmer the Embalmer
- SNFU - Cannibal Cafe
- Riz Ortolani - Savage Rite (from Cannibal Holocaust again)
- Kitty In A Caskeet - Cannibal Paradise
- White Sea - Cannibal Love
- Exodus - Pleasures of the Flesh
- Christopher Granger (Not 100% on this) - Cannibal Campout Theme
- Electric Six - Slices of You
- Severed Hand Back Scratcher Funk (from Microwave Massacre) No clue what this piece of music is called, but it's funky, and it's played over a scene where a homeless guy uses a severed arm to scratch his back. Excuse the quality, ripped from a VHS.
- 8-bit version of Bloodbath's Eaten - The novelty of 8-bit death metal wears off pretty quickly, still pretty cool though. Now, if they had added vocals, this could've been hysterical.
- New York Dolls - Stranded in the Jungle
- Cannibal Campout - End Credits "If"
Aural Vampire - Cannibal Coast - This song is Japanese and I put this one here before I read the lyrics. The song actually seems to be about vampires, so this one doesn't go with the others, but this song kind of rules so I'm including it anyway.
We are what we eat
Friday, May 18, 2012
Maniac - The Remakening
Maniac (remake) - Teaser trailer (VO STfr) by ohmygore
Here's a teaser trailer for the Franck Khalfoun directed, Alexandre Aja written Maniac remake - Jesus, how many remakes is this guy going to be involved in? Looks like a bummer, much like the original. I'll probably see this. I love Elijah in Wilfred, and he made for a good creepy bastard in Sin City so this might work. Weird sound effect choice during the first murder they show, sounds like she's being killed with Flubber.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Manchester Morgue and the Jack L. Samuelson Orchestra Present Swinging Sounds of Christmas - A Manchester Morgue Compilation
I kinda regret not getting a Halloween compilation together this year so I wanted to make sure I get a Christmas one done. As you can see I decided to go against my usual dark and gruesome compilation art choices and chose a pervy old Playboy painting instead. I also toned down the ridiculousness of the title (and in turn made it by far the longest title ever) to try and make it match the old compilation records they used to make so many of. Bert Kaempfert had a thousand of these things. I see at least a dozen of his every time I go to the thrift store.
As with all my compilations, I don't have a planned out order in which these songs should be listened to, I just listed them alphabetically because that's how they were in the folder. I don't have enough time to do my usual incessant rambling today, so you get to avoid reading all of that today. Anyway, here's your tracklist, hope you guys enjoy it!
- Argent - Christmas For The Free
- Boney M. - Winter Fairy-Tale
- Danny Elfman - Ice Dance (from Edward Scissorhands) I know Elfman gets ripped on a lot, but his work on Scissorhands is beautiful
- Dexter Gordon - The Christmas Song
- Futurama - Xmas Elves (song from the show, not a band called Futurama)
- Lance J. Holt - I Saw Mommy Kissing Yog-Sothoth- Lovecraft Christmas
- Mark Snow - Snow For Christmas (from Ernest Saves Christmas)
- New Kids on the Block - Funky, Funky Christmas
- Nina - Do You Know How Christmas Trees Are Grown? (from On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
- Osaka Popstar - The Christmas That Almost Wasn't
- Paul Revere & The Raiders - Rain, Sleet, Snow
- Primus - Del Davis Tree Farm
- Ramonas - Santa's Got A GTO
- The Business - Step Into Christmas
- The Vandals - Grandpa's Last Christmas
- The Vandals - My First Christmas As A Woman (I accidentally added two Vandals songs. Oops.)
- Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
- XTC - Thanks For Christmas
- Zombina & The Skeletones - Transylvanian Xmas
If you are still after more ridiculous Christmas nonsense, my last compilation Robot Sleeperhold: Or Who The Fuck Is Parson Brown? is still up.
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